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RE: Chess and my evolution in logic (featuring @fred703 as author)

in #chess8 years ago

Ah, chess! I haven't played it very often, but every time I do I get a better understanding of game mechanics... but more importantly for me, I get to see myself and how my perception interacts on a relational level.

FWIS (from where I stand), relationships are what dictate my experience... and having logic without intuition is like having honesty without compassion: it is a cold, brutal, and mechanical perspective that sees life in a competitive format where one must win at all costs... When I've worn it, I see other human beings as adversaries who are in direct competition with me. I lose humility, I lose empathy, and I lose out on one of the most important aspects being alive: enjoying healthy relationships with myself, my neighbors, and the world at large.

I would say I'm closer to the second type of player outlined in this article (obviously!): the intuitive one. I enjoy logic (and use it when applicable) but for me, I'd rather risk being considered an intuitive fool than a logical success... Of course, I didn't always have this perspective...

As a child, I was super-competitive... And while losing was truly a world-ending scenario for me and my emotions, winning was even worse: I experienced zero joy in it and, if anything, only felt temporary relief in the fact that I wasn't a failure... which, of course, could change at any moment.

I had to walk away from competitive games for many years before I was able to return to them in earnest. I had the opportunity to play golf very cheaply for a few years, and I learned to see things in a different manner because of it. I saw that one isn't necessarily playing against their opponent - but rather they are playing against the course itself (...and maybe their past record - if one is into that "evolution" stuff and the "self-improvement" standard). As I was playing, I would ask myself: Am I doing my best? Am I accepting of how I am playing - regardless of if it is "good" or "bad" in comparison? And (most importantly!), am I enjoying myself as the course tests me in my relationship with myself?

After that, I was able to re-enter the world of competitive games - including the logic driven game of chess. Nowadays, I'm not driven to be "the best" in comparison with other players. I play to get a better understanding of game dynamics, and I play to get a better understanding of myself...

...Because? The prior will serve me in future moments I get to play the game again - while the latter serves me in the present moment I am experiencing right now.

And... what time is it ever other than right now? ;-)

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Many of these reflections have reminded me of much of my sporting life, not that I was at your level most probably, I reckon my rating was mid 1900's at my peak. thanks for the insights.