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Life has it's advantages and it's disadvantages one disadvantage of being alive is that someday you get to die I mean have you ever imagined yourself inside a casket with people wearing glasses and pretending to be sad?
However there are so many advantages of being dead for example when you die you're free from people you're owing money, because they can't collect it anymore, imagine how cool that is?
Sometimes life wants to make us commit suicide but we don't want to die, I mean imagine a girl who's heartbroken from a relationship, she feels like handing a rope ontop of her roof and removing the chair, but she wants to stay alive and see if her bitchy boyfriend will cry. Life is complications sometimes people eat hundred bars of chocolate hoping that they will die of diabetes but they just end up getting overweight and obese, that's why we see so many overweight girls. don't blame me, they're the ones who chose to eat fatty food hoping it will kill them but it just added a trinity of weight on them.
In other situation people starts drinking and hoping they will die of renal failure, but when they see a fast moving car they run so madly like a cheetah
I met a girl who wanted to commit suicide, and when I asked her why she said because every man she meets wants to have two minutes in the toilet with her, it made me laugh so much I started to sweat in my kidney but then I looked at her and she looked bumpy in all the right places believe me. But then an idea struck me, I told her to donate her boobs to charity, and well donate her backside to the motherless babies home that way nobody will ever bother to have even a second with her in the bathroom. She argued and said she valued those parts of her bodies more than anything but I told her she would die anyway if she committed suicide, so why not cut her apples and watermelons and still stay alive? 😂😂
Same way I proffered solution to a man who was about to commit Suicide, he was trying tie a rope on his neck but I asked him why he said his wife has emptied their bank account on manicure and pedicure and her lipstick costs $25,000 and he basically doesn't even have a dollar, so he felt the best way to elude his podgy wife was to die. Then I told that wasn't the solution, I told him the best way was to put an a merchandise on Amazon, and tag it five dollars and put his home address on the merchandise when the owners of the merchandise came, then he can put his wife in a sack and deliver her to the buyers.
I nominate @Dante31 and @japfive for the COM challenge
Thank you for reading
Oh, those bitchy boyfriends. They never cry.
she probably needs to get on with the suicide 😂😂
Hi @josediccus!
I've seen soooo many of these comedy open mic entries but this is the very FIRST one that I've opened and read all the way through.
Tough topic but you are one person who can bring humor to tough topics! Thanks so much for sharing your gift for lightening the mood of any room you enter, especially online, from long distances away. And Thanks for the smiles! ;)
Hahahaha @Angelacs where have you been? Two weeks I didn't see you in the talk show, I missed you though.
Well I tried treating this topic in a very euphemistic way not to be too blunt or too sharp, but nevertheless make it funny in my own way. Thank you so much for reading, I'm glad you dropped by.
Ha haaaa!!! I've been right here! Missed you too so was very happy to see you awhile ago over on @uche-nna's birthday post for @tojukaka then here.
I did like your treatment of this tough topic... light, sensitive, not shocking nor abrasive. Thank you for that. ;)
Have to come back soon to check out one of your new poems. I have NO clue how you create so many great, expressive poems so consistently. Do you share them with your students sometimes?
Kudos to you, @Josediccus! Keep up the great work. You are Amazinggggg!!!!
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I'm so glad, you like it. well I tagged you once on one of my comedy openmic post sometimes ago, you should participate too 😂😂😂
Well the truth is I'm a thinker, it may surprise you that writing of my poems has always been enjoyable for me, it's like a hobby rather than a duty, that's how I manage to do it I'm more of a writer's addicted.
Hah! I missed that tag! THANK goodness!!! I'm horrible at comedy, @Josediccus. ;)
That doesn't surprise me at all. You MUST love it to be creating so many poems so consistently and well. I LOVE that you allow your creative expression such full reign. And I've a feeling you use what happens in daily life, what you see around you or on social media, tv etc, to feed and provide fodder for your work.
GREAT addiction! Never stop! ;)
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Hahahaha I use to think I was bad in comedy you know but I've won prizes on since doing this you know hahahaha please just try, it's going to be worth it, besides you will learn with time 😁😁😁😁
come on guys, I'm loving your conversation. @angelacs Josediccus is ineed a superb writer in poetry.
Fam, you do Know I have already made an entry for this round, You should check it out.
Dante is here, No FearCheers
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you have no idea how difficult it is to eat my self to death. Burgers aren't working so I'm trying sanddwiches next week