I totally agree... I just still say we can criticize with kindness AND truth :)
I grew up as a mixed child in an all white (and racist) neighborhood... Words can and do hurt! Lol
I'm all for thick skin! Believe me!!! We DO need to toughen up as a society! Hehehehe but if we take a moment to think about how to approach the situation.. I think we can use some wisdom with our words.
I agree so much with what you're saying @notconvinced and @calumam!! I actually love how you outlined your comments thoughtfully!!! And I don't have any doubt that your critiques would be received with the heart they were written.
Our group right now is a pretty sweet group! Lots of laughter and kindness!
I'm thinking more for the future when the group grows. If anyone heard what was shared at PYPT by @awakentolife... We need to be prepared for some nasty characters to come to our group and head them off at the pass. (In my opinion)
You are 100% right, we need to watch how we word some of our feedback. Like you said to me before, there are younger members within the community and we don't want to set them back. As long as we are smart and encouraging, I think we will be ok!
I totally agree. Right now we don't have that much exposure and we can grow our community slowly but if things ever do take off it could get out of hand quick. I think it might be wise to speak with some bigger groups to see how they handled this.
It'll take time for sure but we have a great group of people with us already and I'm looking forward to the future :)
I understand your logic and agree. I do not at all think it should be an anything goes type of set up, as some things like racism have no place here.
But where to draw the line? Lately I have been seeing more and more people expecting everything to be powder puffed and muting/blocking people on other platforms simply for being direct with insensitive wording or simply for being of a different political affiliation. This type of attitude is wrong. Tact is preferred, but forcing people to be politically correct in all manners is ridiculous.
Unfortunately it's actually the types which preach tolerance that are the least tolerant. When you block out a person for simply using "too" strong of a tone, you are doing yourself a disservice, because every statement has something others can take from it if we learn to concentrate on what matters, not what we dislike.
If someone calls another 'ignorant', a 'jerk or swears, I have no issue with these things. I try to look past those things and try to understand the point. I tend to curse alot myself and just use these words as adjectives for emphasis. Other's take great offense just because of another using a swear word. This is ridiculous and counter-productive. Words only have the power you give them. It's a choice.
Now my youngest brother is half latino. My middle brother is my full blood brother. My mother raised us all together and none of us knew our fathers. We also grew up in an all white setting around many racists, even our grandparents. My brother took all the jokes and criticism in stride, laughing at them, instead of being offended. To this day he could care less if someone calls him a spick and he is better for it. He chooses not to respond negatively or take it too seriously and dishes it right back. He has fun with it, because he chooses to. We should all be this way, because if a person gets offended by a word and shuts out others for using words they dislike, we'll never find a way to get past it.
The key is self control. The receiver can either set an example or turn the situation worse. While it's better to be tactful, not everyone will be, so we have to learn to get along with all types. Right now too many piddly meaningless things divide us and it is the response that strengthens that division or attempts to bridge the gaps.
So, while words can hurt feelings you control how they hurt, but physical violence hurts everyone. For this reason the two cannot be equated.
Do I deserve violence for calling another a name? I don't believe so, but this is the way things are becoming. Certain words are now regarded as legitimately causing the violent reaction and that in my eyes is backwards.
You have a right not to be physically harmed, but not a right to happy feelings.