Making choices because they are the opposite of what others would make still means being dictated by social sentiment. You are right, a counterculture that just exist to be the counter is no more satisfying to the soul as going with the crowd (it is though, more satisfying to the ego, as people doing it will look down on others as sheep, even though they are still just dancing with the herd themselves). I've been a dj on and off for 18 years, in many ways I have cool cred because I started djing playing jungle on vinyl and love hard bass/trap/hip hop and other times I find music I like that is more "popular", and I rock it just as hard because its good . I even named my first mix after 8 years "Wait... Am I not Being Cool" because I knew certain songs would be seen by fellow hardcorists as played out or whatever. But I got into djing because I looove music, and I love dancing and I love going through ALL of the emotions I have , not just my anger or ADHD. I think I was lucky because I was not 'cool' or accepted by 'cool kids' from when I moved to my new school in 3rd grade until maybe freshman year when I started meeting older kids and ones outside of HS. I got to just do what I enjoyed because I was so hyperactive I couldn't even pretend to be cool if I tried haha, and when I pretended it failed and was very painful. I've definitely had to catch myself more than a few times in my life from trying instead of being, and the joyless, flat feeling you get when you are aren't being authentic was an excruciating punishment that probably did more work than I did in keeping me honest sometimes haha. Now, in a society where we always seem to be selling ourselves, its nice to remind each other and ourselves that if we are not enjoying our existence then its a waste of time. Even a punk pineapple can see that ;)
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Oh, and I loved Titanic because it resonates with the idea that we choose our life for love over financial stability, or social acceptance. It is actually pretty pertinent to your post, so subconsciously you picked a perfect example lol
Punk wasn’t all about “being different” at first, it was about being yourself despite pressure to be what everyone else was and saying no to authority. The style was originally Moreno of a way of identifying each other at first. Only later did it become “fashion” because of the markets tendency to eat anything and everything, and because many people want to fit in to something.
I’m ok with popular, the problem is that many people change in order to stay popular once they get there. Some don’t even do it intentionally, it just kind of happens when Beyoncé asks them to write a song or something.
Staying true to yourself is hard because of our mode of interacting with each other and the economics of society, once you get outsid of that, it’s pretty easy. But getting outside of that can be tricky! I still find myself back in it from time to time, steemit has been that for me too, as much as I like it.
Anyways, it sounds like you are doing s good job. I love that you admit to loving titanic, that’s so uncool but who cares, just own it!