I've worked in the service industry for years and I see 'That Guy' all the time. He brings in young girls, he parties hard, he's loud, he's obnoxious and most people don't really like him.
Yesterday, That Guy was arrested and charged with 3 counts of Sexual Assault with 3 different victims, all within a few months. The local police are hoping any more victims come forward, because there are always more victims. Knowing that this guy was out there for years, doing the same thing and only a few of the most recent victims have come forward is pretty sickening.
The worst part is, we all knew it was going on.
Did I ever see this guy put something in a girls drink? No.
Did I ever see him carry an unconscious woman out of the bar? No.
Did I ever see him aggressively attack a woman in the bar? No.
That would be too easy. Saying 'hey dear, this dude drugged a girl last week - watch out'. That's something that hundreds of people all 'knew' but we never said anything. Why?
For starters, we live in a society where people can walk around with spinach stuck in their teeth for hours and nobody will say a damn thing. But spinach is something that we can see. If you tell me I have something stuck in my teeth, I'll check to confirm and go from there.
What about other things?
If you told me the woman I was on a date with ate a puppy yesterday.... I might not believe you. At least not right away. I'd need more info on you, and on the woman before I could figure out if I think she's a puppy eater, or if you've got a problem with her and are trying to discredit her.
So when we think to ourselves 'That chick is with a douchebag' its not really our place to judge. Maybe we're misjudging him. Maybe she already know. Whatever the case, when is it our place to say?
The Westboro Baptist Church feels that it is their place to say that FAGS and SINNERS will BURN IN HELL, and in their eyes, they are right. They are warning us of the evils to come, the evils that we are too blind to see for ourselves.
Not all situations are glaringly dangerous, after all, quicksand does exist, but we shouldn't necessarily think that ALL sand is quicksand. Just because we heard someone say that they think that certain sand is quicksand, doesn't mean we should tell everyone. Does it?
It's a difficult situation to judge, and I know I'm rambling a bit, but it's an important question that we all need to ask ourselves; 'Whose job is it to protect us from danger?'
If its everyones job to protect each other from danger, then we'll need to work on communicating with one another. Pulling away from our phones, stepping outside our bubble. Building and embracing a community.
If its our own job to protect ourselves then we need to learn the signs of danger. We need to be open about what we need, what we want, and when we are in an uncomfortable situation.
Maybe its both, and we need to communicate with each other and be open to teaching and learning.
The thing that really sucks about this situation is that it feels very preventable, but 'That Guy' is a predator. It's not a lack of communication between 2 drunk lovers. It was calculated choices to have women sleep with him, and if they didn't choose to, he made the choice for them.
I'm sick of writing this now. What does steemit think is the right thing to do?
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/edmonton/edmonton-man-sex-assaults-1.3716004