DAD-Chronicals : Fixed bedtime - a blessing for parents and children?

For healthy growth, our children need sleep - lots of it.

Fixed bedtime is generally considered to be an important prerequisite for a child's quiet and deep sleep. Parents also benefit when the child closes their eyes punctually. But the way to get there can take!

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For children to fall asleep at the same time, they have to be conditioned, so to speak. Not all parents find this approach worthwhile with the child's sleep and it can not be denied: If a behavior is educated and trained, the feeling for the natural needs quickly falls short. Therefore, parents decide to follow the sleep requirement of the child. But there are rules here as well.

Why fixed bed times are so important

From around the age of six months, education counselors recommend fixed times for the child. This applies to the food as well as for the bedtime. The firm rhythm should bring peace in the child's everyday life and of course get used to it for later fixed rules. Especially for children, who have to get up early with the parents, a rhythm is important, because this is the only way to ensure that the sleep time, which is necessary for the age and individual needs, is also achieved. Many recommendations suggest that the child not only falls asleep at fixed times, but also wakes up. It is awakened after a defined and largely the same time again. In practice, a child conditioned to regular sleep is above all for the parents. But what about the actual childish needs and the sense of self? If the training goes too far, then they can stay on the track.

This is how your child learns to sleep well

For your child to learn a steady rhythm as quickly as possible, it must be "trained" for some time. Use the following rules to work towards the desired result:

  • Based on the bedtime required for the child, sleep and recovery times are set.

  • The child is put to bed at the appointed time, preferably with a ritual like a bedtime story or a song.

  • In order for the child to accept the time as well as possible, it is important to have a quiet phase before going to bed with a proper dinner.

  • Before sleep in the evening should be as long as possible awake phase.

  • To get used to the rhythm, it is good to put the child awake in bed. This way, the child learns to fall asleep by himself - which is also important for wake-up phases at night.

Perseverance is crucial for success. Depending on the child's nature, it may take a while for the child to be conditioned to the sleep-wake cycle. Also keep in mind that the need for sleep can change. As your child grows older, you will need to adjust your bedtime accordingly.

Fixed bed times? Against trained children!

Opponents of fixed bedtime argue differently. For these parents, it is important that the children learn to take responsibility for themselves and their needs. What sounds like the laissez-faire method is one, but there should be rules. For example, if children decide to go to bed, they stay in bed, and nothing is eaten after bedtime. And of course, brushing is also mandatory - no matter what time. Experience shows that even with this method the children get enough sleep and the parents have enough space. Because children who are self-determined and can judge their needs, they also perceive and act accordingly - with sufficient sleep. Another positive effect of this variant: It eliminates the power struggles, even in children who are used to fixed bedtime, not failing.

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Great points! I think a routine is very important for kids and makes bedtime go a bit smoother for everyone. Well written post , great work.

My mom was really strict on bed times when I was little... and I guess that hold's my sleeping schedule up till today.. I'm always up at 7am... even If I am VERY tired. My body will still activate.

This is an interesting way to look at the bed time ritual. I'm glad you offered both views of it, it gives a person more to think about with bed time decisions.

For our kids, a fixed bed-time routine is working very well. Usually we're having some "couchtime" after dinner, brush teeth, read a bedtime story and then they usually fall asleep easy. The routine is very important for small children. I know some people who let their kids decide when to go to bed, but this isn't the option we want to go. We also need some time for ourselves and just putting them in front of the TV isn't an option either.
Anyhow good post @bembelmaniac!