So HERE I AM,
ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRICANE ... NA NA NA NA NA NAAAAU! xD
4 Days ago i decided to dance in front of the camera as i was listening to . Buoy i'm so glad i got Spotify Family :P
Four Tets latest Album "New Energy" on Spotify
I actually wanted to do it 2 Months ago when i've been in Banja Luka .. but i didn't have the balls for it. I thought it might look gay or too feminine. (I'm all in for finding your true sexual orientation btw.)
So i let my ego and demons take over and didn't do it. It was actually a very good song to dance to:
Nick Mulvey - Undonditional
For the reason i could release a lot of old blocked energies which were stored in my subconscious today was the day and i was ready. To be honest with you i was afraid of doing so and it felt "strange" in the beginning. BUT after 20 Seconds in or so i felt more and more comfortable with it and remembered my ecstatic dance experiences with Becca Tzigany
https://www.facebook.com/becca.tzigany in Events in Sofia/Bulgaria and Lisbon/Portugal at the "Infinite Man Summit" http://infinitemansummit.com/. I still didn't let go totally but hej nobody's perfect right? :) It's about the journey not the destination! ;)
So you might ask yourself:
"Why are dudes dancing in front of a camera and making a DTube or YouTube Video out of it. Do i think i'm so amazing that you should watch me all day and participate in my greatness?"
Well Yes and No. I was recording this Video because i was scared of it and that's normally a sign i should do it. Let's say my inner compass if you will.
"But isn't that gay?"
i was asking myself. GREAT QUESTION, simple answer!
Are children gay when they just dance totally free in public or ANYWHERE they want because they FEEL for it in the moment. RIGHT NOW.
Of course not! They just live in the moment and give 100% not a fuck what you might think about them. And just to make sure, nothing against Homosexuality! Everybody should be happy in their own skin! Well, i wasn't! Why? Because i discovered after 21 years of hiding and being terriefied of the possibility being gay. Back then in my environment and family homosexuality was taboo and not really accepted in my society. It's a really long story, so it might be better to make a whole blog post about it. Hopefully i can help the one or other guy struggling with the same issue. While i'm writing these lines i basically feel like a new human being and a new man. Because i was suffering from HOCD = Homosexuality Obsessive Compulsion Disorder. IF you want to understand this Disorder better, i got ya covered:
I didn't know that your mind is so clever to immitate sexual arousal through the groinal response. A response "down there" which makes you think you are sexually aroused when you see in my case sometimes a guy. Your fear and panic you might be gay enhances the feeling and you are totally confused.
Anyway, let's continue with the actual topic. DANC ING.
Dancing is actually really healthy and freeing. You can dance when you are angry, you can dance when you are happy, you can dance when you are in love, you can dance to celebrate a birthday and so on and so on. It's a way to express yourself and your emotions. E Motions = Energy in Motion. So why the hell should i not move according to the way how i feel right now? Because of others? Because of Society? Phhh! It's pretty irritating to think about it what you normally don't do because we THINK certain people would disapprove and "don't like us anymore" or would "abandon us" or would "laugh at us". It's actually hilarious. I can't take this prison anymore. I want to be free. I want to break out of this crippling conventions which got invented just to keep you small. Just to keep you quiet. Just to be you more controllable. I'm sick of being a sheep. Although i'm the kinda blacksheep in my family because i quit my job and gave myself the present to heal old trauma and really understand who i am. My brother is an advocate for working 9to5 and for a safe pension, marry, take a mortgage for a house etc. You can say, i'm quite the opposite, lol. But i'm worth it. I'm worth to discover my true self and become healthy again. Physically and mentally. You by the way too ;)
I just remember, the big elongated kitchenwindows gave me some extrafeelings in my stomach because i thought "oh what is when my neighbours see me?" But that was an excellent bonus training factor.
SO, that's it. That's my blog article about my crazy dancing action in the kitchen hahahaha :)
If you want, play your favourite Scorpions Hit, your Bon Jovi Evergreen or your Bruno Mars or ANY song you are fancy about right now and start dancing to it. If it's in the kitchen or living room or your sleeping room doesn't matter.
For Bonus points i encourage you to make a quick video and upload it on You- or DTube. I'm really curious if i could spark your interest to explore how it feels to dance again. MY next dancemissions are gonna be in public with a ghettoblaster or something in similar fashion. A great YouTube Channel which was one inspiration amongst others for doing my "Dancing in the kitchen and recording it action" was Just Minhaz
He's on his spiritual waking up path as well :)
Edit:
I just realised the main motivation for this vid. I don't wanna die and say to myself "why was i so afraid of everything? why i didn't just live?"
So all the best,
have fun shaking your hips,
Fritz