Dealing with Loss

This is my first post on steem and the only thing I can think about is the difficult year my wife and I have been through. In March of this year, My mother in law had passed away rather suddenly. She had left my wife the estate including all of her vehicles and the house. My mother in law left quite a mess to manage. Not only did my wife had to mourn the loss of her mother, she had to manage the living trust. This put a lot of stress and exhaustion for both of us. The property was filled to the brim with things my mother in law have bought over the course of 16 years. We have had to clear out thousands of pounds of debris, junk , belongings, etc. My mother in-law was a hoarder. There were rooms that could not be accessed because they were full of things. In addition, My mother-in-law had rented out the basement and a separate cottage on the property. In addition, my mother in law had debt collectors demanding their money, which forced my wife to sell her mothers house. Getting the renters to move out so we could sell the house was a terrible process. Both renters were not happy about moving and were rather quite spiteful. One renter stole one of the vehicles that we had to recover with help of the police. The other renter stole the washer and dryer and left the rental unit full of trash. While this was happening, I received terrible news from my Mom that my dad who was fighting cancer was not going to make it as his cancer had spread and he was declining fast. He passed away just a few days later. I was in shock as I had hoped that his cancer was at least being kept at bay. The last day he was conscious, he was in agonizing pain. Watching him like that will haunt me forever. I have to help my Mom out dealing with her grief and helping her out when I can. Through all of this, I feel like there is light at the end of the tunnel. My mother in-law's house is for sale, and I can focus my efforts helping out my Mom. My wife and I are finally at a point we can reflect on the loss we have experienced and start to heal. My wife and I have gone through some difficult days and we have often felt overwhelmed. This also put a strain on our marriage. I am happy to say that thing between us are much better. I'm not really sure why I felt the need to post my situation. Maybe this post can help others going through this process. We often think our parents will live a long and healthy life, but this isn't always the case. My advise is to have a conversation with your parents about creating a living trust. It would also be a good thing to have an conversation with them about their belongings and their ability to manage the house they live in. People often get attached to the things they own and sometimes at the expense of others. Most importantly, spend time with your parents. You never know what could happen and you will at least feel good that you spent good quality time with them before they pass away. If any of you out there are going through the same thing, I feel for you. Just know that as dark and overwhelming it may seem today, things will get better. You will never get over the loss of someone you love, but you will be able to at least live with it. The other thing I would advise is that if family and friends offer to help out, please utilize their help. It's often tempting to say "thanks for the offer, but I'm fine". You will need as much help as you can get from others. Your friends and family will feel good that they are helping you out and the you will feel less overwhelmed. I'm not sure if my ramblings will help anyone out but just know if you are suffering the loss of a loved one you are not alone.

I would like to offer my condolences for both you and your wife. I can honestly say that we never think that our parents will pass, or if we can admit to that, it won't be in our lifetime.

Every time I hear about another hoarder, I go through all of my belongings, keeping the loved and needed and passing along the others to a new home where it will be loved.

I think that writing about it like this is healthy and gives you an outlet to hear yourself think. Also, you are so spot on with taking care of the paperwork for your parents and just an FYI, I had my 35 -year-old brother die unexpectedly and so, it is in the best interest of all to have everyone have their life in order all the time.

Check your state rules on wills and estates.

Before I forget, welcome to Steemit! There are plenty of ears out here that will listen. If you want/need anything , just ask. Someone knows the answer.