My personal experience:
When i realized and truly understood and believed that whatever i do with my life has no direct impact on others life, including my beloved ones, i got completely free of those negative feelings about not being a good person. I've realized my definition of a good person is based on what i think other people are thinking about me. But like what you wrote couple of days ago about "you can't change anyone", we can't control or change the way people think about us. Everyone has their own definition of good or bad based on their own approach to the life.
If i hold a negative feeling towards you because you didn't reply to my comment i'm gonna give away my authenticity to you (other people in general) and suffer from it every time it happens to me, unless i learn my lesson that i'm not dependent on others behavior towards me. Then you've helped me to get free from it. As Matt Kahn says everything is here to help you. If i reply to your post or comment from a point of obligation then i'm your emotional prisoner and subconsciously i'll hold a negative feeling towards you, even if i'm not consciously aware of it. That feeling usually turns into hate and stops us from loving ourselves and others. In my understanding it's not being a good person.
So as you said about priority of self love, no matter what circumstances or situations are, love yourself so much that it overflows and pours towards others.
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I don’t know if I’d say it doesn’t have any direct impact on their life, I think I’d say they are responsible for their own state of mind. You can certainly make it easier or more difficult on them, and but sometimes making it too easy on them comes at the expense of your own responsibility toward yourself, and in the end their happiness or dissatisfaction is their own business as long as you do what you can without ignoring your own needs.
You are saying the same thing though, essentially, and the second half of what you said was worded very beautifully!
I loved your comment and I will try to remember to check out more of your posts, without giving myself an obligation! You would love the Be Awesome chat, link in most of my post signatures, I forgot it in this one.
Yeah, we are essentially saying the same thing.
I still dare to say "no direct impact" because when, as you said, they are responsible for their own state of mind then whatever we do with OUR life not gonna make it easier or harder for them. It's just gonna be an arrangement by universe (if you believe in it) for both side to get what they need to get out of situation and encounter.
Since self love results in love of others in it's very core, the moment we think it's about them, before we think it's about us (not talking about being selfish in classic meaning of it) we gonna get out of that flow of love for both side. If, honestly in our very core, we feel doing something, it's what good for all regardless of whatever feelings anyone else has about it. They are supposed to feel that way because they need it right here and right now to grow, imo.
It's very good man! I love these conversations.
if I were in a place of 100% balance and peace, I would see it that way (if that were the case, I probably would be off on other realms), but I’m not and so seeing myself as having partial responsibility is really just me having responsibility for where I’m at, and where I’m at is in a situation where perhaps someone isn’t happy with me, that also doesn’t occur for no reason, you know? Sometimes it’s just a test, and sometimes it’s cause I’m not as clear and focused and balanced as I’d sometimes like to believe I am and so I think that kind of sense of responsibility can avert some real selfishness and blind spots. I hope I worded that well enough, I’m walking somewhere as I type,
I believe we get to that 100% balanced and peaceful condition when we love ourselves 100%. When someone isn't happy with us if we still cultivate the ability of selflove, then we are there and everything gets 100% balanced.