This really reminds me of the way my wife talks to me;) She often asks me why I did this or that, or why I made the decision I made. Then, after I explain my reasoning, she tends to say, I don’t want to hear your excuses. I always think, I gave you a reason, not an excuse. There’s a difference. But it doesn’t amount to much. She wins, I lose (If you want to call it that).
Getting rid of the accusatory tone and attitude, which I think plays into the winning/losing way of viewing an argument/problem/disagreement, goes a long way when creating effective coomunication strategies and problem solving environments.