The Keeshond I had back when I was in high school and college also had a cardboard roll fetish. If they still make cardboard rolls for carpet, I think Murphy needs one of those for xmas. Shadow sure looked longingly at it, but couldn't get her mouth around it.... Shadow was a shelter rescue and we think rolls were the only toys she ever had before us. She preferred them to "normal" dog toys.
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I will look into artillery upgrades for sure, fren. I've got these "toy" things now... heck, they are GREAT. I won't go back to rocks or chains ever again!