You are right. The issue sometimes is the blurring line between constructive and destructive criticism. Of course, those who usually use agressive language when making observations will say "you may see it as destructive, I'm just saying".
*It is not what you say, but how you say it," people say over here.
I agree it is more constructive to see where we are doing wrong or poorly than to be overindulged in the goodies and never develop further.
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Yes, we can tell pretty much by the "tone" when someone's criticism is intentionally destructive, and I think we can get a good idea of their intentions also.
I think you bring up a good point H,
It is not what you say, but how you say it
When communication has been based so much in nonverbal cues and the automatic processes and adaptations that we make in response to those cues, it is too easy to misconstrue the context of written text. Even verbal cues via phone require a degree of interpretation and can misrepresent or be interpreted out of context.
Communication methods have changed so much, human behaviour / survival strategies / personality vulnerabilities are less pliable, in fact (and these are just my opinions open to critique) I think personality structure is pretty set. We can work around our tendencies and learn to navigate the world with different "skills".
I used the word survival here, which may be seen as a bit extreme. But I think when people respond in a defensive way it is a fear response. It may seem extreme to someone else, but without knowledge of context, personal history, circumstance, we can't truly know what may trigger someone. This is particularly true in online forums. We really have very little information at hand with reference to the other person. Sadly, the "safety " of distance via a device too often seems to grant people permission to be overly critical and impulsive with their opinions, rather than thoughtful or selective with their words. Our fast paced world does not allow for reflection. Sometimes people are just plain rude and cruel, but more often I think it is more about time and a desire for efficiency of communication that ironically results in inefficiency and sometimes unintentional hurt.
That is why I like steemit and discord. It (on the most part), retains people who value quality interactions and collaboration. This collection of reflective people maturely moderate themselves and others and take the time to clarify and discuss difference.
Always tread carefully, you never know who you are talking to. Your conversation may be the only interaction that person has today. Your words may have the power to make or break that day.
Well, that's my 3 cents worth. @hlezama @free-reign, I wish you a beautiful day, I hope life has been tolerable (without reference I don't know if my words are condescending, comforting, or insensitive), but I offer them with the best of intentions equivalent to a truck load of oranges and hope.
:)
You have the gift of words, M.
I love oranges
I like this
It's a tricky business going global and being in multiple platforms and leaving words and ideas in the blockchain which cannot be erased/edited (allegedly). It makes one be (or at lest appear to) a better person, just in case, and yet...
Always a plesure reading from you. Hope life is treating you better. It sucks over here, but we keep fighting.
I think what you've written is very true, @girlbeforemirror, and also what @hlezama brought up in his reply to you - that we're in situations where we are conversing here with others on a global level, which adds to our responsibility to be clear, yet considerate. There's more to take into perspective, and especially the importance of our being aware of what we are saying in our written words and how we are saying them. Our words may be seen differently than we intended.
It's not easy to take everything into consideration, and it's even harder if we are habitually more reactionary with the things we say, rather than first trying to understand the context and how our words could be taken by others.