Hi, I do like your story. But there is a problem in that it is too long to be counted as a zapfic. It should be less than 240 characters (so letters etc, not words) long. Use something to check how many characters like https://wordcounter.net/ as you can see from the picture you have 380 characters and zapfic should be 240 or less
Sorry I'm mistaken with words (it's 240 characters)... Sorry will take care next time.
Have a good day, my friend