Alcohol was my gateway to cocaine, and in all respects a much worse problem for me than the cocaine. Alcohol was my "drug of choice."
I know a man who recently passed away from alcoholism. He fought it for years, and it finally took him.
Sure, many cannabis dealers are dealing other things as well, it's hard to find people that only deal with cannabis in many places. That being said, I would still just stick with cannabis if you can resist the urge to drink Jerry. Drinking is dangerous for a man like yourself, even if it wasn't your drug of choice.
If you ever need to talk, I'm willing to do a voice chat with you on discord man. I'm here for you. When it comes to my friends in a moment of crisis, nothing is more urgent. Utilize that crisis line if you cannot find someone to reach out to in a moment of crisis.
I appreciate that, but at the same time I don't understand, your offer or all the many 'crisis lines'. I don't drink because I am stressed out, because I am in pain or upset. I drink mainly from boredom and loneliness. If you and I or me and anyone have a chat, when that is over I am still alone and bored.
It changes nothing. The changes are internal and aren't (in my experience) affected by counseling.
I just started back on an antidepressant today, it may not kick in for a few days.
I don't foresee and sweeping changes though.
I have an adequate apartment, food, gas for my car, but otherwise I am isolated, I am alone, I have no friends, I don't go visit anyone and no one comes to visit me.
For the last week or more, I've been sleeping far too much, this new AD drugs is a stimulant so we'll see how that goes.
Depression is hell.