If he had worded his response to you differently, perhaps you would have considered it differently.
Editors can very easily overstep their bounds. Trying to help someone with a work is a very careful thing. You might see where they could rewrite something to sound better, but you can only suggest small changes. If you completely rewrite something, you become a coauthor.
In a way, the editor may have overstepped his role...but he isn't the author. You are still clearly the author. What he made is something between a colage and an abridged version.
I think what he made is beautiful, but I don't really like the way he formatted it. It looks weird to me.
You know what, I think you may be right... If he had presented it as a kind of collage, I might have been more intrigued. But, a collaboration needs to be consensual, and he didn't really ask...
Thank you, for your considered response and for finding beauty in it. I think that it's there, too, which made it hard for me, initially, to give a flat No.
But, it just didn't feel quite right, the approach or outcome and, for better or worse, I try to remain true to some crazy ideal of art that I carry in my heart.