I can find some balance in what you stated. I don't think she was abused as she stated he never abused her. Of course there's mental abuse but she doesn't seem to have been inclined to suggest that. It's not like my heart doesn't go out to her, believe me I was a single parent of two children myself without any kind of real support system in place, it can be rough. Often times men walk away without a care in this world, free to do whatever they want while you struggle to raise kids, this case doesn't seem to have gone to that extreme even as he was very supportive in having the children. Like I said I'd believed her if it wasn't for the fact she accused way to many people of sexually abusing the children, it's just to unrealistic to believe that every single person in the fathers life was a child sexual predator.
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Although I disagree, I do get what you are saying and I appreciate you being here to have this exchange. This is an extraordinary situation and for that we have to admit that only those closest will ever know 100% what has happened. I'm also a single parent and was left to do the hard work when it first happened, so I can totally agree with you that situations like that aren't easy.
Going back to our discussion I would just like to raise one more point that has become apparent through my sister's unfortunate experience. What I noticed throughout our ordeal is that my niece's father was a friend of the family and when we first heard about the abuse all of us were caught in a state of disbelief. It just didn't make sense and denial was instinctive. We wasted valuable time wrestling with our emotions and in the end it cost us dearly. My sister reacted instantly while the rest of us hoped it wasn't true. Unfortunately, she turned to the authorities for justice and this has turned into a complete nightmare. Every department tasked with safeguarding my niece has lied, cheated and acted in their own interest. Even when we have proven them to be corrupt they have ignored us and carried on regardless. I'm appalled at how the system works, which is why I have sided with the mother in the post we initially spoke about. It should speak volumes that my advice to anyone in a similar situation would be to deal with it on their own and without the "help" of Police/Social workers(Unless they have irrefutable evidence, and even then I would think twice).
We are all shaped by our own experiences and I know this makes me bias in certain ways. I'm still glad we can have this type of discussion though, as it reminds me of my own biases and to question everything.
Likewise I've had my own experiences to. As a child I was in the foster care system, there were six of us when we were taken, it was justified with the circumstances involved. Though at times I had a hard time adjusting to foster care it was one of the better things that happened in my life. Without them the chances were greater I'd ended up a rotted out toothed prostitute on some street corner in life. For that one short year I was there I learned what being a good parent entailed. That part stayed with me as a positive outcome of that whole experience.
Glad your journey through the system worked out for the better, many don't, and that's why I support @familyprotection. I understand the care system is necessary and children are in need of help but in its current form it just creates too much harm. The UK's care system is rife with pedophiles and corrupt/useless social workers, which has been proven to be true in the IICSA we currently have going on.