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Hi all,
It's been a while since I've tackled a controversial topic, and although I've learned to steer clear of politics on this platform, I wanted to share my thoughts on this particular subject called FEMINISM.
The other day in a group chat, someone said to another someone "don't be such a feminist", to which she responded "that would be the last thing someone would ever describe me as".
The conversation was playful, it was said all in good humor, and no harm was intended, however, I couldn't help but feel stung by those words. I consider myself a feminist, so I have to admit that it did hurt a little. Not so much because I felt criticized, but more because I realized that feminism has such a bad rep among many people, men and women alike.
But what's so bad about feminism?
If you look at the definition of Feminism online, you will find that feminist groups seek 1. Political, economic and social equality of sexes, and 2. organized activity on behalf of women's rights and interests.
(source, The Merriam-Webster dictionary)
In short, feminism stands for the equality for all people, including equality of race, gender, sex as well as political & economic equality
So where does the negative reputation come from?
I have several theories about that.
It's a word ending in ism, and like so many other isms they tend to have a negative connotation.
Think terrorism, extremism, capitalism, socialism, racism , and the list goes on.
Misinformation about the concept of feminism.
Many men but also women believe that feminists are men-haters, the opposite of feminine, a-sexual frustrated women who don't shave their armpits and legs, aren't married, and don't use deodorant.
This is a mistake, because anyone can be a feminist, men and women alike. Again, we have to remember that feminism stands for equality, and there's no reason for men not to want this too! After all, every man is a son to a mother, a brother to a sister, or a father to a daughter.
You may not have seen my legs or armpits up close, but I can assure you that I'm extremely proud of my feminine side and am not afraid to show it.
I'm married, I love sex and don't hate men or what they represent. I'm proud to say that my husband is a feminist, which means that he believes that he and I should be equals too. Our marriage is working so well because we are friends and partners in everything we do.
We both have jobs, so household activities are shared. Sometimes he cooks, and I do the dishes. On other days, it's the other way around. Sometimes I clean and he does laundry. Does that make him any less of a man? Of course not! I should add that my husband is a Latino man, Latino often being wrongfully associated with machismo, yet another uncalled for stereotype.
Men and women can't possibly be equal, nature has made us different!
Of course nobody is questioning that physically men and women are different. Men are often stronger and taller than women (unless you're Gabi Garcia), and it makes sense that certain activities would be handled by men more than women.
I'm thinking construction work which requires heavy lifting for instance, but both sexes have equal intellectual capacity, so saying that men would be better suited to be engineers for instance, is complete nonsense.
The stats about wage inequality are rigged
This is a topic which I don't have a lot of information about to be honest. The stats differ in each country and according to industry so I won't make any assumptions or statements that I can't back up. But regardless of how large or small the wage gaps are nowadays, I think we can all agree that there shouldn't be any gaps at all.
In western society we may not feel this gap as much as in other less developed countries. I can only speak for the finance industry because I've experienced it myself. Having worked my butt off 12 hours per day just like my male counterparts in the same position, this sure as hell did piss me off big time.
Gender inequality is easy to spot in finance. All you have to do is look at a trading floor. At my former company, each desk had a team of 4 or 5 men and one women, usually the secretary of the team. Only the Russian team (oddly enough) was mainly female. I was an exception in a male team, and of course was mistaken for the secretary on numerous occasions.
Feminists are simply seeking to mix things up a bit more by having more women in industries that are now mainly male dominated (politics, journalism, finance, engineering, etc).
To wrap it all up
This post is getting quite long and I'm leaving out some other aspects of feminism here to keep it short. My main take on this topic is that feminism should not be regarded as a bad thing. It's not an insult to women, or femininity. It's not an attack on men. When someone attacks feminism, think that they are attacking the values you probably already stand for, such as tolerance, equality of race, rights and opportunity for everyone. All these concepts are positive. Society wouldn't be what it is today if it weren't for feminist groups (think women's' right to vote for example, or access to birth control). I hope that you understand my reaction better now, why an attack on feminism hurts me deeply, and why it should hurt you as well.
Why do you love or hate feminism? Let's discuss!
I'm sorry that my comment hurt you, I tend to exaggerate quite a lot. I know what the term feminism means by its original definition, but it has morphed into something very extreme in our days. Just like with any political or religious view, those who go to the extremes, tend to get the most attention, and give face to a label that in real life is much more subdued. I do get that, not all feminists are the same.
When ever I am in contact with people that bring up being feminists, either in conversation, on their shirt or instagram bio, they are the kind that tend to rub me the wrong way. Too often they are like your examples of not shaving or they have this need to push men down and suppress their natural sexuality, condemning even someone looking at you on the street for too long.
Normal functional humans with half decent morals are probably all in favour of being equal, and I don't think there is a need to shout out I AM A FEMINIST. What is the advantage or meaning of shouting it out?
Oh @eveuncovered I’m so glad you didn’t get offended by my post 😜. It wasn’t just our chat it was actually the sum of several comments and memes I saw around me all in a very short time that made me think about this topic more deeply. You are right there’s no need to label or shout it out.. it’s something that should simply be understood between humans , and there will always be extremists everywhere m. Thanks for reading and not hating me ahaha
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I have been thinking about a lot of these labels lately and I think that the underlying problem has a lot to do with us interacting online, and not in real life. Most of us get along with other people quite well when just meeting in real life and talking like normal people, but everything gets so easily out of hand online. The lack of body language and filtering that is normal for us in real life, is taken away online. A lot of this could be seen for example in Steemfest, where a lot of us might have had confrontations or arguments on the blockchain, were now drinking and laughing at the same table, completely happy to be there together.
Ah yes for sure! I’m always s a bit afraid of how my words come across in writing ... but you know me a little now so you know I mean no harm 😜😘
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I wouldn't fight you in real life, I know you can kick ass! 😝
You only have to read the comments of any article or video that has anything remotely feminist in it to find scores of men and women loudly mocking the movement.... which is bizarre, given that you'd think that 100% of rational people would be feminist.
Like African American/Aboriginal people not being allowed to vote in times past.... something that seems so crazy to us now, surely the people that denounce equality sought by feminism know they're on the losing side, and it's only a matter of time before we live in a more equal world.
I understand how the wage gap was created... but I honestly think that the whole concept of being paid an annual wage will be disappearing in our lifetimes... I'm on an annual wage, and the amount of people who you see just wasting time in the office is staggering. Female employees who are also parents tend to be, in my experience, far more efficient - which I really appreciate.
Basically, in any movement that seeks to change the status quo, people spotlight the worst behaviour of anyone in that group, take that as the standard and let it distract them from the message. Yes, some feminists are extremely passionate and forceful, and yes, some are man-haters... but also, some men destroy peoples lives... so y'know.. there might be a reason those feminists are angry. Changing the way things have always been done is hard... and I'm sure most people lean towards the devil they know over an uncertain future.... but honestly, I think people forget that the status quo is usually stupid and outdated.
I don't have anything to add and feel the post explained it well, to an extend I have also never cared to research. I want to note though that like you say 100% of people should be feminist. Therefor I would wonder why even have the label I would still rather just say that the world should be more rational and logical than refer to a movement by any name. A movement can then get a negative group following it vs I think just stating this is wrong it is irrational and illogical fix it is a lot more tangible for me personally
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you're right, labels tend to attract bad reps. Just like veganism, or any other movement with a label. =) People should focus more on what they stand for...I personally don't like labels at all
Totally agree.
It's kind of crazy that feminism is even a thing... the only people actively want things to be unfair are those that know they're profiting off it.
I completely agree with you @aussieninja! I thought it was very strange that people but also women reject feminism. I think it has to do mainly with lack of information, or like you say, those with the worst behavior making the headlines. I hope these bad impressions will change soon =) Thanks for reading!
It is really strange... but I'm sure if you took those exact same anti-feminism people, put them in a group where everyone had to do a task, and then very obviously paid some people more than others... they'd be so angry.
Part of the wage-gap problem is the whole approach of individuals having to negotiate their salaries with their company... without any transparency on what others are earning. I think that whole practice is super unfair, and only serves to allow companies to undercut some employees. Men, on average, tend to be more confident in those negotiations... but it's still crazy to me that that process is allowed.
YES!!!
I believe the best way to make people (men and women alike) understand why feminism is so important, is the fact that both men and women are victims of the same thing.
Men that are supposed to be tough, to not cry, to not be sensitive, to not be allowed to want to care for others, to always think about having sex, to be as strong and untouchable as they can. It's a heavy weight to carry, and even though I know many men don't see it this way, they do snap under this pressure sometimes, getting more aggressive then needed, making more victims with both words and physical behaviour than needed, getting a depression, committing suicide...
As long as women aren't 'allowed' to be equal partners to men and vice versa, both genders have to live with the negative side-effects. I'm purposely not going into the negative side-effects for women, because these are way better and way more described :D
Yes, I'm a feminist, but hell do we need a long long time to explain that feminism nowadays is not the feminism of a few decades ago where women were withholding sex and have hairy legs to show men a lesson...
Thanks for writing about this topic Eve, I'm not always feeling strong enough to take all the shit that comes from writing about it :D
I'm glad you feel the same @soyrosa =). To be honest I hadn't actually thought about the male perspective you mention, but it's very interesting and makes total sense.
I was hesitating to write about it but it bugged me, so I had to =). So far no negative comments (yet) I hope it stays that way =)
I believe the male perspective is highly overlooked. We tend to only talk about why women are still victimized, and I can sort of understand why people get tired of all the talk about that... We seem to be doing fine, right?! (I know in many ways we don't, like did you know many medications are NOT tested on female bodies because they are so unreliable? So we have to take medications based on male bodies with often a very different weight, muscle to fat proportions, and almost no hormonal fluctuations...)
But honestly, if we can get people to understand it's not a 'fight for women' but a fight for 'a fairer balance between te sexes' we'll get way way further and even get some of the negative taste of the word feminism out of our systems.
Anyway, it's one of my favourite topics, I'm always here to chat about it if you want :')
wow I had no idea about the meds...that seems definitely unfair!
But yes, here the issue is the damn label, the word feminism is just not very representative of what it stands for.
I love this topic too =) Not just feminism, any topic related to social inequalities. Definitely up for a chat =)
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