A shadow of myself.

in #fibromyalgia7 years ago

Hello ,
Let me start by introducing myself. My name is Kristina. I am a newly turned 48 year old (wow) time flies, mother of 3 boys and 1 daughter . My older boys along with my ex work in Emergency services as Paramedics and or Firefighters. My other boy and daughter are the artsy kids like me. My son is into Music production and the Martial Arts and my daughter is a dancer of many genres, studying to be a Dance Anthropologist.

I married at the age of 19. I had my first baby boy at the age of 21. We decided to start our family at that time because I was told if I wanted children I'd need to start right away due to some Women health issues. So, my first two sons were born with the help of taking a double dose of fertility meds. I found out that I was pregnant with my 3rd son the night before I was going in for a hysterectomy. Then with my daughter I made the decision to try for a girl and God blessed me with her very quickly.

As long as I can remember I always felt sickly. Mostly feeling extremely tired and always sore glands. I along with doctors never knew the reasoning for me feeling that way.Fast forward to the age of 19 and I started to have bad musculular pain and shooting nerve pain everywhere in my body. I spent the next 25 yrs trying to just function daily with every day simple tasks. Things like getting out of bed and showering, or driving to buy groceries, or even having the energy or strength to hold and take care of my babies. I remember leaving them in their crib for hours because I just didn't feel I could hold them.

During this 25 yrs I pushed through and did the best I could to raise children, keep a home and especially be a very supportive spouse to a husband who usually held two jobs and attended college. Supporting his career was not an easy task. Being a cop/fireman alone brings it's challenges but add in my health challenges and I felt drained and depressed all the time. I remember telling my husband that I couldn't remember ever feeling happy. I had days maybe where I didn't feel sad but never happy.

A few years ago I was having some big liver issues.I was going in every three months to monitor my liver. Docs always wanted to throw pills at me and guess what? Those pills usually caused symptoms which would make my Fibromyalgia or liver problems worse. So ya, that made sense to take them right? No way!
I remember driving home after a doctor appointment. They could not tell me why my liver was getting worse. I turned into my subdivision and ran into my ex who was leaving the subdivision. He stopped and I just couldn't hide my tears. I told him what was going on and that I didn't know how but I was going to get better and it would not be with medication.

So it was then that I began my journey of learning about Alternative Health. I started to supplement my diet with Essential vitamins and minerals that my body was lacking . Within three days of starting supplements I was no longer bed ridden. I had been up buzzing around the house cleaning and feeling on top of the world.

It was with this success that I decided it would be my life journey to show others how to heal from illness through nutrition, thinking patterns and other modalities. I do not want anyone to suffer like I did all those years. I often told my husband that I felt like I was a shadow of myself. In my mind I wanted to work, I had dreams and goals but my body and even my mind would get in the way.My sickness over ruled any ideas or dreams I had of becoming great, of being Kristina. I strongly believe trauma, and our life stories get stuck within our mindset and our bodies. This along with not getting the necessary nutrition our bodies need to heal we become toxic and sick. Toxic body but also toxic mind. We create stories that do not serve us and actually hurt us. It is with the intention of sharing my story of being bedridden for 25 yrs to now building two businesses and also being an Aromatherapy student that I now know is my God given purpose. To teach the world they do not have to stay sick. I envision making a huge impact for other people by sharing my knowledge, history and continued education. No one should be a shadow of themselves. No way, no how.