I'm astonished Jessica! This is honestly one of the very best prose pieces I've read in a long time. I LOVED everything about it... the gradual reveal of the situation, deftly sketched one detail at a time by following the internal thought process of the protagonist. The vividly imagined altered state of the "almost human" drones. The casual use of scientific terminology ("I see the first petechial hemorrhage blossom in her milky sclera") as one of many devices used to underscore the line that separates the reality of the protagonist from that of the reader's.
"...love-bombing".
"...another thingamabob from the bin".
"But who created God?"
"...the visceral response of my newly altered body to the pheromone signature of another of my kind..."
The language is perfect, both brutally direct and intriguingly enigmatic.
"Yet" is such a small word upon which to pile the buildup of tension and mystery in this piece. But then... "yet" carries it perfectly. A perfect ending to a perfect piece.
This blew me away.
Wow! This is an incredibly flattering, kind, generous response to such a small story. I can't tell you how pleased I am! This really made my day. I love words and love to try and use them to convey a sense of things beyond just what is said, and your response tells me I did in this piece. Thank you a thousand times over. <3
Not particularly kind or generous, just honest. Your writing is amazing!
lol... tho I do remember telling you that your comments about My Pet Spider "made my day" like a week ago. That's a nice echo to get :D