This isn't my usual vibe, but I wrote these as stream-of-consciousness a while ago when I was in a foul but fanciful mood and will never use them for anything else, so might as well.
The idea was to be as dramatic, tragic, and macabre as I could be in the shortest amount of time.
So these are all one to three sentences long. I've done them all with the same 'template' and left in the order that I wrote them.
I hope you hate them, in a good way :)
They're meant to be funny, in a dark humour throw-up-your-hands-and-tremble-at-the-fragility-of-life sort of way.
(images are commercially licensed stock images from pexels.org)
One sunny day a happy little pigeon flew into a glass door, breaking its neck, and died.
One day a boy wore a pink shirt to school to commemorate the death of his mother by breast cancer. The older boys shoved his head in a toilet and flushed it. When they finally left, he started out of the stall and tripped, hitting his head on the tiles. After 23 years in a coma, he choked on saliva clogging his feeding tube and died.
One day a woman received a paper cut while wrapping a gift for her younger brother who had severe degenerative disease. While leaving through the front patio to get a band-aid, she walked straight into the closed glass door, and as the glass shattered around her one large piece severed her jugular vein and she died alone in a pool of blood on the carpet.
One day a little boy with a broken foot limped into the doctor's office where his mother had just been informed that she was pregnant with twins! They celebrated together, and went straight home to tell Dad the news where they found him hanging from electrical cord in the garage.
Man, this post is close to perfect! haha this really had me in stitches. You have a real knack for writing, @jamtaylor. Dare I say, almost as much as your photography skills. I really hope this does well ... and no, I'm not ending this sentence with an ironic twist like your flash fiction. The awesome formatting is a nice touch as well. It really gives emphasis to the stories when you read them.
Have you seen Cyanide and Happiness? They have the same humor as you. If you haven't seen them yet, here's a link: http://explosm.net/
Thank you! I just had a thought that maybe if I named the characters it would cause readers to empathise more, making the final slaughter of the endings more impactful. Maybe next time haha.
I like Cyanide and Happiness when I see them around the place but I never really go looking for them. It's pretty similar to my sense of humour.
Looking forward to your next installment! This is shaping up to be an awesome series.
Nice one i love it
Dark but funny for sure.
Can I ask you how you get that follow button there? I keep seeing it more and more but am not sure how to add it.
Well I made the button and just use a linked image, like this:
[](link to profile)
Who came up with the button image? Is it ok for anyone to use?
Oh, I thought it was an actual "follow" button, not a link to your profile page. I never clicked it because I was already following.
Unfortunately I don't know how to get the actual 'follow' code, so right now users have to click the follow button on the profile page, so that just leads them there and hopefully they'll click it there!
Always like your posts, I like your writing and while it
s not my intent to spam your post I would love any feedback on my first fiction piece if that's okay.
https://steemit.com/writing/@clevecross/labr-coin-part-one-original-story-of-a-dystopian-future-reliant-on-the-blockchain
Man I am not really in a position to give critiques but I'll say that I found it difficult to follow and I had no idea what was going on. Don't feel bad because that's just my opinion.
If you haven't already, check out "The Elements of Style" by E. B. White and William Strunk Jr., and "On Writing" by Stephen King
Those helped me a lot with non-fiction writing, and I think they will also help with fiction.
That's perfect.... honestly what I am looking for. Seems to get more a "hey great post" than anything at times and this was what I am wanting. Thanks for taking the time
I feel so horrible for finding these funny....there is probably a place for me in Hell...possible it's the Throne itself :(