You are viewing a single comment's thread from:

RE: IN | OUT, Part 8 - Silent Symphony

in #fiction6 years ago

Wow. This is an excellent short story. I love how this chapter fits in with the rest of the in / Out World. I think here, in this section, you've really mastered your similes and connection images.

For example, the scene where Sylvia is so distracted by Penelope and you describe it like searching for a radio signal that is very difficult to find was awesome. It reminded me of fiddling with one of those old analog radio dials where the sound was never perfect unless you found exact right placement and left it there.
Gears finally moved through to find purchase and begin grinding forward. These are simply two examples of excellent language laced throughout this section.

I feel like each new chapter is another flexing attempt to improve your writing, and it succeeds. Thank you as always for sharing, and I can't wait to read more.