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RE: deleted

in #fiction5 years ago

It is wonderful to read you. You have the ability to keep me attentive to each description and each dialogue. You discover my curiosity with some paragraphs.
After reading:

Natalia looked to the distant gunfire; ...

I wonder: why did you see the shots? Just hearing them was enough.

But immediately the literary image moves to:

“Wake up to warm eggs and bacon cooked by you mama. Go out and play all day, ”...

She is there but her mind is not. And sweat secretions appear to understand that it is there.

Very good publication, great narrative. Nice to read you @cardforge

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Glad you enjoyed the chapter! Super happy to see you comment on another chapter as well! Warms my heart a lot seeing anyone keep up with my writing.