"I thought you left that cryptocurrency facebook after last year's - fiasco." Maude shielded her mouth on the last hushed word, as if someone other than Kate could overhear the scandal from her best friend's breakfast nook.
"Firstly, we say crypto in our world, not cryptocurrency." Kate mocked lightly. "Also, after losing Roger last year, I could use a little scandal."
Kate lifted her tea cup to her lips and sipped quickly to stifle the snicker threatening to burst free. "What? It's not like my virgin eyes haven't spied a willy before."
"Catherine Emery Kingston! What happens between a married couple is one thing, but random willies being flung across your computer screen is quite another!"
With an unladylike snort, Kate doubled over in hysterics, enjoying the dismay on her innocent friend's face. "Calm yourself, Maude. I'm an unknown author, writing fiction on a sweet, little blog. I've learned my lesson about accepting invites from anyone with Sir in their name." Kate shrugged lightly. "I simply thought he was from noble birth!"
Maude lifted an eyebrow, waiting for further explanation.
"Well, my dear Maude, apparently the title can also refer to a certain lifestyle." Kate waggled her eyebrows, waiting for the horror to register on Maude's face. Her friend merely shook her head slightly, confusion still clouding her countenance.
"You know, whips and chains? Clamps and -"
"STOP!" interrupted Maude abruptly. The sound of her teacup rattled against the porcelain plate as she silently expressed her tacit disapproval. Taking a few deep breaths through pinched nostrils, she continued her earlier reprimand of her life-long bosom friend.
"You know, Catherine. Sometimes I think you secretly delight in embarrassing me! I don't even know how you scout out these situations!"
"Mm, yes. Well, you-know-who seemed to think it would be a great benefit me last year. Help to get my bearings after Roger, you see."
Maude flashed a look of pity before resuming her frown again. "I think You-know-who should mind his own beeswax and go off on one of his adventures again to leave us in peace!"
Catherine passed a plate of biscuits to her friend before daintily biting into one of her own. "See, then? You'll have some good news and bad news."
Munching daintily on her treat, she lifted a hand as if to allow Kate to continue.
"Well, the good news," Kate said, after swallowing her bite, "is that you-know-who left for his latest travel two days ago. So you'll not be bothered by the likes of him for another three months."
"And the bad news?" Maude polished off the last of her biscuit, uncharacteristically popping it fully into her mouth.
Kate bit her lip gently to prevent the smile from spreading further. "Before he left, he figured I'd need someone to look out for me on the platform. So he used your information to sign you up."
How delightful that Kate had learned the Heimlich maneuver last Spring in that CPR class! She felt it would have been dreadful to lose her best friend to the tail end of a biscuit lodged in her throat. After all, with her gone, who would protect her from all those willies?
But who wants to have tea with Amy?
And isn't Kate a much bolder name?
After all, these are prompts meant to stir the author! ha ha I was stirred to name the ladies as I did. Forgive me, but Maude and Kate fit the bill much better. 😅
At least Kate was supposed to apologize to Ruth. I think coming to her rescue served as a proper apology, don't you?