I could barely speak the entire drive, just enough to tell him directions on where to turn. My body was so weak. I felt sick with desire for him. And the silence...I wondered how I could get him to fuck me. Should I just ask? I knew he would reject me if I was too straightforward. I asked him to pull over. He didn’t say anything, so I stopped giving him directions to my house. Eventually he drove down a deserted road and pulled over. I unbuckled my seatbelt and leaned over, laying my hand gently on his thigh. We finally made eye contact. I watched as his body relaxed. He broke down, and started to tell me the specifics of what had happened with his wife. I just listened. I didn’t offer any advice because I knew there was nothing I could do. When he finished talking I leaned over and and unbuckled his seatbelt. I knelt over him, running my hand up his thigh and very lightly brushing over his lap.
My heart was beating so fast, I wasn’t sure if he would let me do it but I couldn’t stop. I unzipped his pants and bent my head over it. My mouth was watering, I wanted to taste him so badly. I looked up at him as I took him into my mouth. He was leaning back into the seat. I focused on getting him hard. I had watched so much porn that I had the theory of it down, but really I just wanted to savor the feeling of sucking him and not think of anything else. I felt such intense gratitude for him, I wanted to worship him and give him everything. Under my skirt, I felt wetness drip slightly down my thighs. I was so turned on I had to stop myself from sucking him too hard. He moaned slightly, and took hold of my hair, running his fingers through it gently before taking me by surprise and forcing my head down onto him. I gagged and tried to pull off of it, but he shoved me down harder on it. He continued to fuck my face, losing all regard for me and just using my mouth for his pleasure.
He thrusted into my mouth for what felt like forever, ignoring me when I tapped him. I could hardly breathe as he kept fucking my throat like it was a hole. My sight was blurry with tears, my face covered with my spit. I was gagging and choking, but still he kept going. However this time I wasn’t confused at all. I craved it. He was rougher with me than my rapist, but I loved taking it for him.
He pulled me off it, slapped me hard, bringing me back to my senses. I gasped for air before he forced me back down onto it “It’s your fault. You made me do it. Now you’re getting what you wanted so badly.” His thrusts were getting rougher and deeper. He pulled my hair harder and I felt it pulling painfully at my scalp. I had him deep in my throat. I felt it throbbing, and choked on his hot fluid as he finished
I coughed and swallowed with difficulty while he pulled his pants back on. I was still burning and my panties were soaked and sticking to me uncomfortably. I crawled over the divider between the seats into his lap and wiped the spit off of my face before kissing him. I pulled my shirt off, put his hands on my body. I begged him to please put it inside of me. I whispered to him that I loved him, but he just apologized and said he couldn’t. I was so frustrated I couldn’t stop myself, I just kept grinding on him begging him to please do it, that I loved him and that he had to be the one to take my virginity. Eventually he snapped, taking me by the throat and forcing me to look at him.
“Get off of me. I’m taking you home now. Tell me the directions.” He said, starting up the car before I had even gotten back into my seat. He refused to look at me the entire drive home. I only spoke to him whenever we had to turn. “Put your shirt back on.” He said glancing at me.
Just as I had done after my first sexual encounter, I went straight to my bedroom and cried desperately. This time however, I didn’t want to shower him off of me. I wanted to wrap myself in his scent and preserve the feeling of him. I covered myself with blankets and imagined him holding me while I cried myself to sleep.