All the latest Movieland investigations from detectives Dick Japowski and Joey Arizona.
The Arizona Christmas Files
The Christmas Chronicles (2018)
A teen and his little sister wait up on Christmas Eve in order to catch the big man at work. Not content with capturing Santa on video the pair stow away his sleigh. But when they alerted Santa to their presence he crashes the sleigh and loses the reindeer...and things just get worse from there.
A car chase, Santa singing the blues, and some fuzzy, adorable & unhinged elves, what's not to love? Kurt Russell is also one of movieland's best Santas, up there with Richard Attenborough and David Huddleston.
Rewatch: 4 Doughnuts
The Many Views of Detective Dick Japowski
Ready Player One 3D (2018)
The future is now. Where people put on head gear to escape reality. Steven Spielberg's bombastic blast of nostalgia was slightly more enjoyable at home in 3D and watching with my son, who I'm sure appreciated his dad pointing out all the things he should be looking at!
Rewatch: 3 Doughnuts
Japowski Jr: 4 Doughnuts
The Arizona Christmas Files
Pottersville (2017)
A community linchpin goes a bit nuts when he finds out his wife is closeted furry, gets ridiculously drunk, dresses in a hunting camouflage/gorilla suit combo and ramages through the town. Inadvertently starts up a bigfoot frenzy.
This is not the Christmas movie I was hoping for, despite the setting and It's a Wonderful Life style ending.
First watch: 2 Baubles
The Many Views of Detective Dick Japowski
Gojira a.k.a. Godzilla (1954)
At this point Godzilla attacks are a common occurrence, but this is where the rampaging began. Japowski Jr loves his Godzilla movies and has been asking to watch this for a while. It took him a moment to adjust to the lack of dancing and other monsters, but by the end he was just as thrilled with the model mashing monster madness!
Rewatch: 4.5 Doughnuts
Japowski Jr: 4 Doughnuts
The Many Views of Detective Dick Japowski
Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom 3D (2018)
I just have to start out with the statement that "there is no thing as a bad dinosaur movie". That said Fallen Kingdom was a bit of a disappointment on a Rewatch, and as a Jurassic movie it didn't feel like it fit with the others. I think that is the point though, and even if it's a park I don't want to play in at least it has dinos!
Rewatch: 2.5 Doughnuts
Japowski Jr: 3.5 Doughnuts
The Arizona Christmas Files
The Man Who Invented Christmas (2017)
Acclaimed author Charles Dickens' last three books have been failures, but his latest book could save him from the poor house...just as long as he can get it to print before Christmas.
It's not Christmas in Movieland until you've seen at least one adaptation of A Christmas Carol (this year it was Muppet Christmas Carol), so it was good to see a very different side of the story, Dickens struggling with his private life while juggling writing duties, and haunted by the new characters he's created.
First watch: 3 Baubles
The Many Views of Detective Dick Japowski
Rogue One: A Star Wars Story 3D (2016)
Rebels rebel to get the plans for the new death star in a new hope to stop the star wars.
An unfamiliar cast of characters and no light swords couldn't draw me in to this adventure when I originally watched it and I'm still not sure if it's a story I needed fleshing out. Great home 3D on the plus side.
Rewatch: 3 Dougthnuts
The Many Views of Detective Dick Japowski
Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker (2019)
My great grandfather always said "it's not Christmas till we have a star war". What a forward thinking man. But is this present from a Mr JJ Abrams a keeper or a returner?
I can sense a wave coming. JJ does everything you wanted and possibly a little to much more in order to nail the ending of this epic saga, and it can't be everything to everyone. It's as dumb and pandering and as epic as rewarding as you choose it to be. My saber glows blue and sometimes green so I was able to disappear at the end of the film like the force ghosts before me. You can find my cloak in the lost property!
First watch: 4 Doughnuts
The Arizona Christmas Files
I'll be Home for Christmas (1998)
Jake has to get home by 6pm Christmas Eve to win a Porsche, unfortunately he's just woken up in the desert with no money, wearing a Santa suit.
Critically panned, a flop at the box office, and at times doesn't even make sense, but this detective must be close to double digit views
Rewatch: 3 Baubles
Have you witnessed any of the movies we've investigated? Which ones deserve locking up? Let us know in the comments below.
That Santa Clause movie sounds cool. I like Rogue One.
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