I was looking for a draft of a post that I wrote ages ago, but I found this gem instead.
I'm not sure what I was up to, but it's too good to waste!
(posts like this are why I have turned off the rewards on @sift666)
How to write like a pro
For some months I’ve been trying to get hold of a new book that a lot of online critics have been saying is the hottest thing they have ever read. With a great stroke of luck I managed to obtain a copy from Amazon.
The book is called “Got Our General Sock”, and I found it engrossing right from the beginning - the following excerpt from chapter one is reprinted by kind permission of the author, Laurel Cahill:
“Her continent found black. Why drop backslid them monthly? Rightfully goat slid this dress as look. It stall-fed her wide note up shame. Easily, the acid iron off ray, which overshot chief, brown trick. Marlene misdealt this serious fact. I rebroadcast Marisol who gave us Hunter! You betook left toe, who shook irritably... outside corn held knife, snake blew up my rice towards complex wool:
Where they underbid him?
We unsaid her natural.
Important flight star out bred, I resold exactly, really, merrily. You crept its rough group excluding some dependent stick, which dwelt violently. This tight noise stall-fed since the rhythm; material, male authority. Parallel transport street colorbreed, I shrank suspiciously, blindly, brightly. I forbid a dark lead across that tall crop that began justly. Our round comfort overthrew excepting some agreement; clear, cruel error. Which cry unlade us boastfully? Powerfully station bethought an tray upon gold. It undrew some physical current to theory. Yearly, he pleaded this dry girl on my second act, which forgave loosely. We hit the white answer during their sharp rice, who unbent tensely. I stank us ready. Payton inputted this kind copy. They slid Mckayla what overheard me Bianca! I partook your secret silver plus my strange pot, which spoiled tenderly. Their simple key said versus her view; long, happy dust. Future muscle fork strove, I heaved suddenly, sternly, quickly. Our first blood fell than our plant; important, physical print. I rough-hewed your simple map of my tight plane, which spilt soon. You spun them brown. He pleaded flat view, who got roughly.
They unthought his common chief unlike a necessary account, that lay seldom. These living children troubleshot but its degree; ill, clean amount. Narrow finger danger handwrote, I strung politely, rudely, angrily. Some slow bath rebound through a floor; certain, kind tendency. It wetted her material earth unlike our sweet tendency, which spilt irritably. You struck them first. She sawed secret sea, who strung awkwardly”
Truly, this is a work of genius, and I am imagining the dramatic possibilities of strange pot and long, happy dust...
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**************** THE END ******************
*** Warning - Reading all of the above may endanger your mental health or turn you into a retard ***
Is this how Andy got started..
ps ... good thing I didn't have to reward this post...
You Sir are not a well puppy 😂
Bwahahaha .... a dyslexic sick puppy ...rotflmao !!
You succeeded in including powerful keywords. You also managed to resurrect a dead post.
The thing that most amazes me about this post is that it seems to indicate that people actually do read my @sift666 posts and think "I'm not voting for that moronic crap, this guy is a space cadet" - and I thought nobody cared...
Reading all that someone might think I had mental issues, but I was just experimenting with a new genre.
One cannot emphasize enough the need for new genres!
Post modernist realism!