Will you use your imagination for a moment?
Yes?
Okay!
Fredrick Kearney Jr @fredasem
So let's all imagine that we lived in a world where strange bearded men named Santa Claus did break into our homes to give us presents in exchange for copious amounts of cookies and milk.
Lets imagine that this year Santa brought you a gift... which to your immediate horror, doesn’t look like a gift at all...
As you stand right there in your living room, you are standing face to face with bomb…
A bomb, attached to a giant gift box, which is set to detonate in one minute.
At this point, how would you feel?
Shocked? Afraid? Desperate? Confused?
As the timer ticked down, what would you do?
Would you try to disable it? Or would you let it detonate and run out of the house?
As time passes you desperately think through your options, none of which provide a clear action to take.
5… 4… 3...
Your breathing intensifies as you move into desperation mode.
2… 1...
Your body tenses up as you prepare for the inevitable.
0…
Boom!
You hear a loud explosion as the gift box catapults into the air....
...and releases a flock of $100 bills that gather on your living room floor.
You look around and notice the room, filled with thousands of dollars.
The bomb, which was at first perceived as great danger, was now a source of great wealth and abundance.
It was a gift... in strange wrapping paper.
Gifts In Strange Wrapping Paper
Now I share this story as an analogy for life, especially when life leaves those ticking gift bombs at our front door.
Oftentimes these gifts in strange wrapping paper are presented to us as experiences that are outside of our comfort zone.
Experiences that cause us to freeze up, to feel insecure, lost, or confused.
Eric Ward @ericjamesward
More often than not, these experiences seem undesirable, something we wish to run away from.
But then something happens that we weren’t expecting.
And what was once a terrible situation, ends up changing our lives for the better.
I call these experiences: gifts in strange wrapping paper.
My Weirdly Wrapped Gifts
To explore this concept more, I want to share a story of my own gift in strange wrapping paper.
Lately, Santa’s been dropping gift bombs at my door like it’s Christmas already.
I'm currently in a polyamorous relationship with my partner Dani, which means that we are in a committed relationship but we are also open to dating other people simultaneously.
Over the past few weeks our polyamorous adventures have become more intense in that Dani is now starting to more fully engage in another relationship.
This experience has brought forth a lot of uncomfortable feelings for me and it's been difficult to process them at times.
Within the past few days, I’ve noticed a few gift bombs show up at my front door.
One after the other, I had no choice but to confront them.
Last night, this gift bomb came in one swift moment:
I was at a party with Dani and her partner.
Her partner was being very flirtatious and physical with her, and I was beginning to feel uncomfortable.
I noticed my body begin to tense up as though I was preparing to receive a punch in the gut.
When my partner came up to me to hug me I immediately resisted her. I was overwhelmed and her offer of physical reassurance was not helping.
I let her know how I was feeling and we decided to step out of the party to have a brief conversation, which helped, but I still struggled for the majority of the night to accept what was happening in front of me.
I felt like I was losing her.
And at that moment, I felt the burdening weight of that gift bomb in my hands.
And it felt like it was about to explode.
Accepting The Gift
Now the situation that I'm referencing is probably more extreme than most people have to deal with on a daily basis, especially in an intimate relationship.
However, the thing that we can all relate with is the fact that there are times when life presents itself in ways that causes us to feel uncomfortable, lost, confused, or straight up out of control.
It is during these times when we have a choice: we can either accept what is happening and deal with it or we can choose to not accept it and let our emotions get the best of us.
Justin Luebke @jluebke
The latter usually comes in the form of blame, where our ego gets activated and it does everything it can to preserve itself by convincing us that we are a victim and that it is someone else's fault for how we feel.
Sometimes we’ll run away from the uncomfortable feelings by drinking a lot of alcohol, smoking weed, or literally running away to avoid the discomforting situation.
As in our gift bomb analogy, this would be us running out of the house to avoid (what we perceive) as an absolute disaster.
But what would happen if we, instead of running away, we chose courage and sought to discover what dwelled inside?
Courageously Opening Our Strangely Wrapped Gifts
Through life experience, I’ve learned that oftentimes these pending “disasters” are often not that at all.
Whether it's pain, fear, challenges, or stressors that I'm experiencing, whatever is occurring, I try to see it as a gift in strange wrapping paper.
I like to use this analogy, especially when life is a blur and everything seems to be off.
Life is constantly presenting us with opportunities to grow in new ways and many times when opportunities come in the form of strange occurrences or situations they force us to operate in a new way.
More often than not, the things that we perceive as scary or “bad”, are often the things that change us for the better.
Pete Wright
@petewright
That's why I say they are gifts in strange wrapping paper.
It doesn't always seem apparent that something can be good, especially if it's wrapped in a package that doesn't look desirable.
We all know the phrase “don't judge a book by its cover”, and in this instance that phrase is dead accurate.
How often do we judge potential experiences before we experience them fully?
How often do we say, "I don't like that" before we even try it?
How often do we avoid trying things because we are afraid of what will happen… or what people will think of us?
I think that the answer to these questions is simply: A LOT
I think we avoid trying new things A LOT of the time.
Why?
Because it's easy.
It's easy to do what feels comfortable.
It's easy to stay the same rather than to change.
It's easy to avoid what we are afraid of (or at least for awhile it is).
Change is often experienced as pain or discomfort when we first encounter it and no one would choose to have that.
However, when we remain the same and never change, over time what happens is we start to experience a sense of stagnancy.
That stagnancy begins to show up in our lives as stressors, anxieties, challenges, or even physical maladies.
And so the situations that we avoid, often show up in our lives in one way or another.
This, I believe, is our evolutionary dilemma.
What I've Discovered
In my experience in polyamory I’ve been tested to sit in a myriad of uncomfortable situations.
In this particular one, the situation was uncomfortable to me because I felt like I could lose my partner, or that our relationship could change in ways that I don’t like.
As much as this is true, if I were to say “no” to the experience, I would never truly know if it is 1) something I can handle and 2) something that could actually be good for me in the future.
This weekend I've been meditating on the situation at hand, and as I work through what I am experiencing I’m noticing that something special is happening.
As I am beginning to accept what is happening in front of me...
I am noticing that I am feeling more free.
I’m feeling more free to be who I am and to explore more things that I would like.
I’m realizing the amazing amount of opportunities that are opening up AS A RESULT of this seemingly terrible situation.
The gift was freedom, wrapped up in a perception of “losing my relationship”.
Embrace Your Gifts
I always seek to face my fears head on and embrace the situations that feel uncomfortable to me in the best way that I can.
Does that always look pretty?
No way.
It usually looks like a complete mess, and I'm usually completely overwhelmed when I'm in the thick of it.
As I’ve learned to embrace what I'm feeling and accept the situation that is in front of me, I’ve noticed that there is a lot of power in that.
I may not always feel like I'm growing in the moment but when I have time to process the situation and share how I'm feeling, I begin to change and transform in ways that I never thought possible.
Gerome Viavant @geromeviavant
This weekend I felt completely vulnerable, and totally unsure of who I was and where I was going…
It was through accepting the situation and being okay with feeling uncomfortable where I was able to understand more about what I wanted and what I needed.
As those uncomfortable feelings (that strange wrapping paper), started to break down, I started to notice that there was something very shiny that was hidden within.
For me, that gift in strange wrapping paper was freedom.
Can I say I fully understand what this freedom looks, feels, and sounds like, or how I will use it?
Not yet...
But I can already feel that it is something that will help me to thrive.
In Conclusion...
Life is always going to present us with situations that are difficult to deal with and there's a very good reason for this.
In my opinion, the reason for this is so that we can proactively explore ourselves in creative new ways.
It is my belief that we as human beings are incredibly unique and dynamic in nature.
Although we may act the same in some ways, we are also very unique in our own ways.
Sometimes we just need a little push from life in order to access those more unique parts of ourselves.
And that - comes in the form of very strangely wrapped gifts.
Do you have any strange gifts in your life right now?
What are they and what gifts have you discovered inside?
Did you enjoy this post? Was it worth an upvote? I really care about the content I create and upvotes help to let me know that you find it valuable. Give it an upvote to let me know!
Follow my blog to get daily, soul-powered Steemit content!
My Best Posts:
Featured Article: True Life: I'm 29 And I Still Haven't Quite Figured Out My Sexuality
Ready to make a big change in your life? This post is for you: You Must DIE to FLY
Do you want to start vlogging? This post is for you: I Vlogged For 7 Days Straight And This Is What I Learned About Myself
Want to learn how to become brilliant? This post is for you: Mind Magic [1]: The 5 Minute Method For Unleashing Creative Brilliance
Want to learn how to wake up feeling positive and inspired? This post is for you: How To NOT Feel Like S#*$ In the Morning [PART I]
Want to learn the mechanics of perception? This post is for you: [Neuro-Semantics E-Course] The Process of Perception: How We Represent Reality Pt 1
Captivating!!! Well done bro, you are doing a great work here.
I appreciate you bro! Thank you so much for reading and spreading the love.
In response
Anger Ego Silence
Frontal lobe Healing
Purging
Thank you @artspirited. Love this response!
Love this! Thank you for sharing your perspective. It completely resonates and I enjoy your authenticity!
Ah, thank you @teahna! So glad you enjoyed it :)
This so amazing...at first when started read I was like perhaps I will knee down and say last prayer to God and I still think if I could throw it away or something... That situations is kind dilemma... Reading everything made me understand the real meaning... Life will bring h you what you want a d what you dislike but you must stay Positive and look forward to better moment coming ahead. Voted
Yes! You got it my friend! So glad the article was helpful for you. Cheers friend!
All of your insightful posts are really causing me to dig into my own shit with an entirely new perspective. Your introspection is really... amazing. Thank you for sharing.
I responded to your other comment on facebook earlier but thank youuu so much. It really encourages me to write more :)
I like how you tried to see the good in it @axios. When you're in the swamp up to your neck in alligators its hard to see what good can come from that. However there is a good to be found in all things. We should seek the good in all things. I often challenge people to take three weeks and look for the good in all situations no matter how hard or small. You'd be surprised at how much good there is out there if you focus your attention on seeing it.
Having said that there is a reason you feel the way you did. Everything is seeking union from atoms to molecules to cells to animals up to humans. Each is a higher turn on the spiral so to speak so a bit different then the lower.
When humans enter into union there is and exchange of male and female energy. Even in same sex relationship whether platonic or not. If the relationship is sexual it is a more powerful energy transfer. The reason you felt the way you did is because a certain amount or degree of the energy you were getting from you partner was withdrawn from you and given to another. You will always feel this loss of energy when that happens and it will evoke all sorts of these feelings.
The reason I bring this up is to tell you to be careful you do not stuff or suppress those feelings. You must express them in a harmless manner and not suppress them. Also this energy exchange is why Human male female romantic/sexual relationships work best in monogamy.
I am not trying to dissuade you from the relationship of your choice. However this has been discovered over centuries and millennia of human relationships. Humans can form cells and molecules with other pairs but they are also platonic between the pairs yet there is great power that can be had in doing so, but all parties must have good enough control over there emotional body to avoid the personality conflicts that cause separation.
Sorry I did not mean to wax so philosophical but if your interested in this line of thought I would recommend a book Called the "Molecular Relationship" by Joseph J Dewey www.freeread.com
I appreciate your thoughts here @blaynesukut. I agree with you in that we are seeking union, even down to the cellular level. I've been exploring how I can join in union than more than just one person and what I've noticed is that through my initial struggles I've been able to form much more depth in a variety of relationships in my life. Whether that is sexual or not, there is most definitely more depth now. My issue with monogamy was that I kept experiencing a reocurring pattern in three different 2+ year relstionships over a span of 10 years. The issue stemmed from my sexuality. I felt cut off in a monogamous structure. It didnt allow for the full expression of who I am. I agree that you must have much emotional control to truly embrace poly. That is very much the truth!
Remember you are not your feelings. The way to join in union with more then one person is to form a triad of couples (3 pairs). Each couple can be sexually involved with their partner but do not have to be, but not with the other couples. That union pf the couples into a triad is on a soul or spiritual level. When people can see past personality and into the soul that's when great molecular union will occur in the human race and we will make a new leap forward in evolution IMO.
Interesting! I have not yet experienced this for myself yet, but am definitely fascinated with the concept you are sharing here.
You are right on point. So many people quit before they really get started.
There shouldn’t be a New Years Resolution. Everyday should be a new resolution for everyone.
Thats such a fresh perspective! New years every day would be quite the year!
This post is amazing. I love the positive perspective you offer and your discussion of resistance vs. acceptance. Resteeming, upvoting and following.
You are amazing @shawnamawna! Thank you so much. So appreciate your kindness :)
One more thing l was basically dying for heart failure, when l got a new heart December 25th 2015. That is the best gift l have ever gotten.
Wow thats amazing @luckyfellow. Truly sounds like one of the greatest gifts anyone could ever receive. Thank you for sharing that friend :)
I love it!! Over the last 5 years i have been through so much darkness which i perceived as a bomb, but now i reconize it as the gift that woke me from my inner darkness.....This is a great perspective......Following, upvoted, and resteemed.....Blessings and much love💓
I can very much relate with you (in terms of the last 5 years). I'm sure a lot of us can. The darkness is what we are here to explore. Thank goodness its much greater than we could have ever imagined! Thank you so for the kind words and actions @positivechange10 - I so appreciate you!
Check out my video when you get a chance.....
https://steemit.com/love/@positivechange10/2vqgcz-freedom-from-prison
Polyamorous relationships are such a great opportunity for people to practice love in a non-possessive way. I cannot even imagine what it's like to face those feelings of jealousy and like your world is crumbling when it's a partner who you may even perhaps live with. All of these are great opportunities to realize that the things that happen to us are not us they're just a story. So indeed, what freedom comes from throwing yourself at life and just surrendering! Great writing. I will follow. This post definitely does relate so much to the card I've been pulling for the last THREE DAYS: The Lover card and what Love really is. Following! Looking forward to more.
You got that right @brightstar. Poly definitely provides countless opportunities for that...too many sometimes lol. But I do enjoy the challenge, especially after its all said and done and I realize how much I've grown from it all. You are so right about it being the "story" we tell ourselves. SOOOO much of my insecurities come from a false story that either stem from a past memory or I imagine and create into a plausible reality. I've been really learning to catch my thoughts when this happens. Easier said than done tho! And yeah, the lover card was so relevant for me! So glad we crossed paths. Thanks so much for sharing here :)
Great article and really profound thoughts. You've put a lot of work into it and you nailed it! I relate to you, as I suffered a lot for some bombs which later turned out to be good for me. Too bad that we don't always have the self-control to courageously open the gift and not fight it.
Thank you @diana.catherine. We don't always have the self-control but that's why we practice. Thankfully life gives us PLENTY of opportunities to hone our craft in this area lol. I think that maybe when I'm 80 or 90, I've have it half way figured out hahaha. Thanks for stopping by and reading Diana. I appreciate you!
What a beautifully written perspective and how strong you must be to have such a positive outlook. I agree that we tend to get a lot of these uncomfortable "gifts" and I don't feel I have near your strength and poise to handle them as well as you have exhibited. Thank you for sharing your story and putting this issue into such a personal and positive perspective.
@drwillwho I really appreciate the kind words! So glad you enjoyed the read. Wishing you the very best :)
resteemed :) @lovecuration
I love this pic of the two inner children loving one another when the adults turn away in ego, I remember it from the burning man pics.
Yes! I was super inspired by that one as well! Thank you so much for the resteem @lovecuration!
Great topic! Problems are for me "dragons" as Jordan Peterson says, which need to be slayed. And like in every good story, the one who slayed a dragon becomes a hero and receives a really good reward :D
Love that analogy! We are truly the brave knights of our reality. Love it. Thanks for stopping by @saunter
Thank you for sharing! I really enjoyed the read. Jealousy in relationships happens, I really loved how you handled it. Its awesome to see how you can grow in any situation! Thanks for the lovely article.
Thank you @karensuestudios! Thanks so much for stopping by and reading :)
Congratulations @axios! You have completed some achievement on Steemit and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :
Click on any badge to view your own Board of Honor on SteemitBoard.
For more information about SteemitBoard, click here
If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word
STOP