What an unexpected and funny story that you shared with us @jdkennedy, it really made me smile, it's awesome.
This post is AWESOME!
It has therefore got a manual 100% upvote from @thisisawesome, for the Awesome Daily Upvotes in category Freewrite, I give out 1 such vote in that category per day, plus 3 more in other categories, and your post will also be featured in todays Awesome Daily report for more visibility.
The goal of this project is to "highlight Awesome Content, and growing the Steem ecosystem by rewarding it".