Is Apple to Blame for Make America Great again??

in #funny7 years ago (edited)

Before I get started I must warn you of the bare minimum requirements to read this story:

1. Tinfoil Hat
2. Tinfoil Hat
3. A mild sense of humor

With that said, lets get started. I am an American who left America for a little bit, and am suddenly feeling like a very **Important Man! **you see, because ever since I left things have turned quite messy. Even if you're not American and pretend not to care about what happens there, we Steemians need to pay attention because what happens there tends to trend a lot and other nations tend to follow blindly or via economic force, as this nation loves to use its one known and quite diminished super power we've come to know as sanctions.
We Americans love to be the first at things, anything actually. But especially at things that make us look better at doing things that we were once terrible at, like say long gasp how we treated people of African descent or anything that wasn't in keeping with our interpretation of All men are created equal later edited to pretend that women were also part of our thinking at the time of its writing. And so in keeping with that spirit we went ahead and elected ourselves a not so long gasp a Black President although quite frankly most Americans would gladly elect anyone who was qualified and met the legal criteria. But we did it despite the fact that there are still some amongst us who hold dear those old time beliefs that Blacks belong in the fields and women in the kitchen, and I know this will probably not sit well with some of you but these still exists, and have a right to feel however they want to feel. In the process of us trying to be the first at something that would make us look good at something we sucked at, we enraged some of those people and they went on a quest to find a hero who could embody some of their beliefs even if that hero did no know it.

make america great.jpeg

Enter the most great and perfect and just downright awesome guy that any country could hope to elect, and I seriously mean it the guy is great at the things he is really good at. And before I go any further allow me to clearly point out that I am in no way qualified to have a decent political opinion since I gave up on the system a while back.

show me the Birth Cert.jpeg

But this guy sent a huge smoke signal a giant flare for those who went on their hero search early on, by simply demanding to see what he surely knew was something that was overlooked by the ones who had diminished America by trying to be the first at something again, and soon he launched his own bid to make us great, but this time I'm not sure if it was a bid to make us great at something we once sucked at or if it was his version of don't call it a come Back!! We we've been there for years!

Fast forward to the Present and the rest is history, the hero was found and propelled to leadership of the free world that's American speak for: we think we are the greatest ever at anything and now the whole process of how the Crusaders brought us this great savior is showing some cracks, remember that we Americans are particular about the legality of the process etc, we don't quite care who you are and where your ancestors came from but you need to meet the criteria and follow the rules. Well it seems that although it was ok for our great hero to launch himself onto the Spot light and attract the three wisemen who where tirelessly searching for him, it was actually ok for him to claim tin foil hat worthy things in order to gain attention; Now a days it is considered delusional to point out some of the things that this great man is not so really great at. He is somehow immune to any common sense and can simply push away reality and whatever he cannot push away, his devoted crusaders will clean up for him.

This is what led me to wonder if this guy actually mastered the force especially that part of the force that Steve Jobs Mastered to get us to pay incredible prices for soon to be obsolete gadgets made in China???Apple-Pencil1.jpgHeadphonebust.jpg

I'm Not quite sure about the answer to or even if there is an answer, what I am certain about is that soon if we continue down this path he will lead us into a conflict that we will not be able to escape from. And we will probably love him for it because it will be in keeping with our policy of trying to be the first at something we sucked at before, this time being the first at becoming a Global Disaster that caused Global Calamity

But I feel confident writing this because as most of you will see it is nothing more than:

fake news.jpeg

And it really is, but I'd like to Remind the great thinkers at Apple that with great power comes great responsibility and if they somehow left the Instructions for their very own Distortion field laying about they need to come clean and leak to the Fake press how to fight this thing. I love My Iphone 6s Plus, but I'm not liking the whole being responsible for Global Catastrophe thing etc. So please come clean, admit that you were hacked by Russians who gave the technopsycology to The Donald. Unless you are being paid by tweeter in thanks for somehow making it relevant again.

Alright guys calm down I am already collecting all my Steem belongings and moving out, I'm sure you don't want to see me around here any more. Bye.

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Tinfoil hats X2
and always a good sense of humor.

Don't pack up and go just yet! I like this kind of think and talk. There are other steemians that would too ;-)