Old timers in rural canada use these so much it hurts. Improve your old world charisma with some out east similies. I would like to hear if any of these are used in the united states or other english speaking countries!
WARNING SOME OF THESE ARE NOT PC!
She's as dumb as a sack of hammers
He's as dumb as dogshit
He's as sharp as a mud fence
He's as sharp as mayonaise
That store is closed up tighter than a bull's ass in fly season
Busier than a cross-eyed cranberry picker
Wearing too much makeup?
Enough paint to paint a battleship, and enough powder to blow it upAs fucked up as a football bat. (drunk) (a personal favorite)
She can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch
Busier than a dog with two dicks
Beat my dick like it owes me money
Queerer than a three-dollar bill
Sweatin' like a whore in church
It's raining like a cow pissin' on a flat rock
Numb as pounded thumb
What other country cliche's amuse you? Or piss you off, for that matter?
Ran into some fun ones working in rural East Tennessee, both related to weather:
hahaha the tomcat one is great.
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