Why Won't Anyone Listen To Me!
I'm making a sour face! My arms are crossed! I'm getting ready to stamp my feet!
Don't make me pay for votes you guys! Dammit! My problems are more important than everything else!
Can you hear me! I have problems!
There's someone with a problem over here!
HUH-lowwww! Pay attention to me!
This is how we solve things! Come on! What are you waiting for! I'm yelling-guh!
I ordered a cheeseburger and there's no cheese!
I'll be putting this at the top of the trending page if you don't give me my goddamn cheese!
Now!
Cheese! Now!
Please sir, calm down. You're making a scene.
A scene! I'll show you a scene!
Look at my dick! You see my dick! First one you ever seen isn't it! Huh!
Put that away, sir. The police are on their way.
Fine! Call the police! I'll tell them you touched me in the men's room!
Sir, you're on camera. Nobody will believe you.
Well I believe you're an asshole! Could have just gave me the goddamn cheese ya know! You messed with the wrong guy!
Sir, please stop humping the napkin dispenser.
Don't tell me how to do my job!
Thirty Minutes Later
The police finally show up.
Put the ketchup down, sir! Do it now!
You'll never take me alive!
PUT IT DOWN! NOW!
Lick - my - ass!
Pew! Pew-pew! Pew-pew-pew-pew-pew! Pew! .... Pew!
Flags fired, flags fired! One down, ketchup everywhere! I need backup!
Today's Lesson:
There's no cheese in jail either. So if you really like cheese, calm the fuck down.
Have a nice day.
Taking into account the title, contents and art, I am naming the painting "The Spotted Dick Drama." It bears no resemblance to Spotted Dick which is a British dessert of steamed pudding with currants.
This comment of yours gave me the biggest laugh so far. "The Spotted Dick Drama"... HA!
Happy to return the favour! LOL
LOLOL! Hahahaaa, I'm having trouble with an articulate response. Hee. Ah God, this was a much needed laugh for me, thanks!!
I'm speechless too. LOL
What's "the trending page"?
A mythological beast.
I have heard the only way to defeat it is to never look at it. If no one looks at it, it loses all of its perceived power.
Then when no one is looking, you can stomp it to death.
The rumors are true. It is weak, and we are mighty. But if you can't look away, and you feel like getting some attention for free, just let someone else pay for it, then say something stupid under their post. :)
I tried that and commented on a haejin post.
flagged
Saw that... LOL
Haha it's been amended though. ;)
#BernieRoxx
Hey, don't worries. You will get there, you will get to the trending page! Be trusty!
And anyway, don't give a fuck is ART!
I've actually been thinking about voting bots a bit today. Someone earlier was talking about how they really get your posts noticed.
I did have a post earlier that I wanted to get noticed that didn't get noticed.
I tried stomping my foot but that didn't do anything.........so I tried shaking my pillow but once again I didn't get a good response.
It's quite possible that cheeseburgers may well be the answer.
I've been here forever. Those big votes that haven't voted for me in the past aren't going to start now just because I start buying votes.
There is lots of cheese like product in jail though. And it's fabulous! So I for one will support you in your rant and put a little steem in your commissary account so you can enjoy all the damn cheese like product that you like!
It's not the same!
LOL...
pew, pew, pew...?
Let me show you some higher caliber dispensers...
At the very least we could modify to ...squirrrrrrrrrttttttt...
Maybe move up a step and make that farting noise. I suck at onomatopoeia though. I'm not sure how to spell that sound.
That’s funny, you with ketchup, they with guns. Did they actualy thought they had any chance?lol I think the waiter was very nice. At the end I would definately give him a nice upvote.
Great story and the drama paint is fabulous!
That wasn't me, that was Larry. He likes napkins.
you're not well
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell. Thanks for placing a Matchbox 20 song inside my head.
I am with the government, I am here to help
Nice oxymoron.
Cheeseburgers with no cheese are not cheeseburgers. I used to like calling pizza places and ordering an all dressed pizza, but with nothing on it. Half the time they'd catch it and be like"wait, all dressed with nothing on it?" If they didn't catch it, I'd ask them to repeat it back to me. Sometimes there were so on autopilot they did! lol Then I'd be like "Actually, extra nothing. So, all dressed with nothing on it and extra nothing" By then they'd usually catch on that I was making a prank call... I name this comment "What kids did before the internet"
I miss those days when we could anonymously harass anyone in the phone book. One summer a cousin of mine stayed for a few weeks. We'd take turns calling the same guy over and over, asking for Jim. "Is Jim there?" He'd say no, we'd apologize, then call back, same thing. Everyday for about a week. "Jim?" If he wasn't home we'd leave a message for Jim on his answering machine. Called him up one day, he finally snapped and started yelling. He went on for a long time and we recorded the whole thing on this little piece of shit tape recorder I had. We knew he wasn't home in the afternoon so we called him and waited for the machine. Heard the beep and played the recording of him over the phone and left that as a message. Never called him again after that... We laughed though. Just thinking maybe his wife checked the messages or something and he's yelling his head off. Or just the shock of hearing yourself flipping out... I still wonder what happened to that guy... I hope we didn't push him over the edge... LOL
Now that I'm thinking about all the prank calls we used to make, it's no wonder I became a telemarketer for many years. The Jim one is classic lol At one point our group of friends had a "hit list" we printed copies of, it was about 10-12 names from the phone book - I remember Walter Goodleaf who we'd always call and try to buy pot from, Reverend Peter Blunt, who found it interesting that his name was a term for marijuana rolled into a cigar, and M. Bonerandi, but I don't think we ever got a hold of Bonerandi lol Walter still comes up on Google, but aww.. looks Rev Peter Blunt passed away in 2017.. No M. Bonerandi on Google search that I can find lol We'd keep a few quarters in our pockets and if we got bored, "Hit List!" - and bike to the nearest pay phone. Then we found out about *67 and prank calls more or less became our rainy Saturday afternoon thing to do lol
I was a little biased reading it after the conversation we had yesterday. My mind saw parallelisms beyond the obvious humor.
A sane meaning behind words of insanity and the "The Spotted Dick Drama" painting of course! :P
And relax, you didn't get the cheese but at least you have the whole burger! ;)
My art gallery doubles as a comedy club. I just do whatever. I don't know what I'm doing half of the time. Some days I'm smart; the next day I'm just an idiot yelling about cheese. If an idea pops up in my mind I don't waste it. I just write it down and hope to entertain. There's no way anyone expected to read what they read here today... LOL! Probably scared a few followers today. :)
As a Dutchman, I would like to make clear that cheese is a serious matter, and not getting one's cheese is dramatic indeed and warrants a dramatic response. Your using cheese as a metaphore to make a point is misguided and will attract attention from our Cheese Police. This isn't over.
I don't know what you're talking about! I didn't do anything! It wasn't me!
hahahah the last part " no cheese in jail either" funny shit man :)
LOL yeah... I don't know what the hell I'm doing some days but at least some folks got a laugh out of this mess.
hahah you are very dramatic but it does bring a smile to my face.
I think some people are just really addicted to cheese and so they make rash decisions in order to keep getting more of it. I'm not sure if what we need is for more ketchup flags to be fired, or for the trending page to just suddenly not exist anymore. In any case … this was a really fucking funny skit. :)
Rash decision? Every time I get one of those I just scratch the damn thing.
The skit did turn out to be good. If I was directing the video I'd have him sliding around naked on the floor in a pool of ketchup when the police arrive. Like I said in another response here, I should find some actors and do the writing and direction myself. They can produce the video. .... Soon... eventually.
Now that would be interesting to see if you started doing video stuff. I'd watch.
when I first joined steemit 8 months ago, the trending page was full of the same people, again and again. The content was boring but to be fair somewhat mediocre. Now, thanks to bots some faces have changed and the content has gone to shit. And we also get 4-5 top posts with shitty TA analysis.... I guess you can call it an improvement
I'll be straight up, honest. It's not an improvement only because they had that much time and didn't make any changes.
A few simple changes to improve the quality:
Simple.
What I would like to see is an account with a huge ass delegation that would downvote any bot-voted posts by big accounts (60 and over)to oblivion.
If I ever want to get really depressed, I go and check out the trending page.
I stopped going there are started hitting myself on the head with a hammer. I've been seeing positive results so far, along with a few real stars.
lol!
You're really good at humorous metaphors haha!
I'm imagining the dickhead humping that dispenser while his face is turned side-ways to the shopguy and conversing, all the while maintaining a deep, strong eye contact with his balls hanging loose. xD
I need some good actors. When I write these skits, I'd like to see them performed someday. There's a few ways to make that one line look hilarious in a video.
lmao ikr!
You could try animations too! Rope in some animator from Steemit and you'll go hit hit!
I could write for animators too. Pretty sure I can write for anything comedy related. Even some serious shit if I wanted to.
This guy would be perfect for your scripts! Effin hilarious man.
I've tweeted him about Dtube, hopefully he replies!
Well I do like cheese and I do not hump napkin dispensers, but a megaphone can be effective when used sparingly and appropriately. I suppose I am using a megaphone making all these posts about the scam. I did my second one today and may do two or three more - perhaps one poetical. You sure you weren't talking to me. But then I am not holding a ketchup bottle. Thanks. @nonameslefttouse
I just read your blog and I’m sorry for what happened to you. I actualy always use posting key and if I want to internally transfer I use active key. How did they get to your acc.?
Just joking around. It has nothing to do with anything, sort of.. LOL. You're welcome.
Haha.. this is hillarious..
I've learned my lesson, although cheese is great , life is more important :p
This one deserves “Drama”
I can hear you! You definately have a problems with ketchup holding in one hand, humping the napkin dispenser with other hand, arguing with waiter, showing him your ..., and at the same time getting shot with flag guns. Oh I forgot “your ...being touched in the bathroom”. Now, all I have to do is to imagine it.
I wud like a glass of milk ...i dont like cheese much😄
lol cheese is one thing that we all like, this shows how much worth cheese is for you, appreciate, next time i won't get cheese will definitely do a thing like this... lol 😉
Hahahaha. This one is hilarious. U are really funny, how could you come up with something like this ? Awesome man awesome. You have made my day
Hahha. Really funny, this much for cheese, well who does it, you touched me in the mens room, see my dick, all this for some cheese. 🤣🤣
You created me dramatic contribution like as a cheese burger.
Every time you given fun and tremendous feel across word contents.
Pretty fabulous effort.
The highest levels of performance come to people who are centered, intuitive, creative, and reflective - people who know to see a problem as an opportunity. So don't see your problems as the problems but take every problem as an opportunity to score. Go far go high.
Lol! Look at my dick... You see my dick.. First one u ever seen. Isn't it..Huh That was awesome....
Thank you for posting a funny one
Hahaha yes truly there is no cheese behind the bars either so calm down. Anyways what a way of creating an imapact. I will put you on "the trending page". But a cheese burger without a cheese burger is not a cheese burger.
No i want my cheese....i can go to jail but keep cheese in place and the ketchup also.....what is meant to be eaten should be in place......fuck the jail ,fuck the police....i dont care.
Haha very funny and entertaining show , you creates a big scene because of cheese and even attracted the attention of the police. Am still laughing reading through this creative post. Great and helarous indeed
very good lesson of the day dear friend @nonameslefttouse really deep and forceful.
I wish you a great day
@echowhale team swimming by with your upvotes
That asshole must've eaten the cheese intentionally.
Damn, these days you can't even order cheeseburger normally.
After paying attention to the plot, this is a funny drama for me, hahahaha
In fact I could not help laughing from my reading it.
For the third week in a row you've made me think about your dick...
Kudo
Have an upvote
Well i like cheese
Great post
Quite dramatic too
Where is my pepperoni Pizza god damn dang it!! And why is it always not hot!!! Damn dang it!
hahaha,,this is so funny,,,thanks for sharing and pleasure to me