There comes a time in every parent’s life when their teenager suddenly demands, “You need to start treating me like an adult!” This is usually said with great conviction, right before they leave their wet towel on the floor and forget to put the milk back in the fridge.
Now, I’m all for my kids growing into responsible, independent humans. But the thing is, being an adult isn’t just about staying up late and making your own decisions. It also involves boring things like paying bills, scheduling dentist appointments, and oh yeah, cleaning up after yourself.
I decided to test this newfound desire for adulthood.
“Sure,” I said, “I’ll treat you like an adult! Here’s the water bill.”
Cue the horrified expression. “Wait, what? I don’t have money for that.”
Ah, the reality check. They want adult privileges, not adult responsibilities. They want the freedom to make their own rules but still expect me to be their personal chef, chauffeur, and ATM. They want to be spoken to with the respect of a grown-up but also demand I bring them a snack while they binge-watch Netflix.
And don’t even get me started on consequences. The moment something goes wrong, suddenly I’m Mom again, the fixer of all problems. Phone charger lost? I must have hidden it. Favorite hoodie missing? Clearly my fault.
So for now, I’ll continue treating them like the wonderful, semi-adultish creatures they are. Responsible when convenient, dramatic when challenged, and forever confused by the concept of a laundry hamper.
Someday, they’ll understand what adulthood really means. Until then, I’ll be over here, actually adulting.