I wrote this post two years ago yesterday on my blog another writing mom (when my son was barely 3, and when I was mommy blogging instead of being bowled over by memoir!). The boy and the presents are bigger now, but dang if the sentiments aren't still apt in the lead-up to this year's holiday:
First world problem alert: I can’t stop buying Christmas presents for Jax.
This is the first year Christmas is really going to mean anything to him. He liked his toys and books and cars and games last year, but he didn’t really understand. 2017 update: Child now understands too much and too well.
This year, we’ve been singing Rudolph in the car. He makes holiday crafts in school. He’s really into a couple of the cartoon Christmas specials (DVR-ed, so we can watch them well into 2016. Hurray!! Sarcasm.). He’s talking about Santa Claus–and I don’t have the energy to battle all of culture and try to dissuade him via one of those anti-Santa, “don’t lie to your kids” tirades–and just kind of gets it. He knows something’s coming.
Man oh man, is something coming.
I can’t stop. I’m on Amazon like daily. I can’t run into any store–grocery, convenience, hardware–without thinking, “Ooo, stocking stuffer!” 2017 update: Nevermind, no, same, we're good. No update necessary.
By the way, dig my awesome stocking idea. So I decided last year to have this tradition of a Christmas Eve gift of a movie, a snack, and new PJs. Not super original, but a good idea. This year, it’s evolved. The Christmas Eve gift each year will be his stocking, because I was also completely smitten with my stocking as a kid. In my stocking was always some kind of gift I imagined my mother thought I was too young to have: makeup or nail polish or a semi-expensive piece of jewelry, something grown-up. Plus, the stocking trinkets weren’t wrapped! There they were, right there, stuffed down into a sock, for up to a month before Christmas!! Anyway. Jax will get his stocking on Christmas Eve each year, and I’m doing themed stockings. This year, the theme is dinosaurs. Dinosaur pjs, dinosaur movie, little dinosaur figurines (yeah, I added yet another toy to the mix. WHATEVER.), and a dinosaur snack (dino gummies? Oooo, maybe I can find a dinosaur cookie cutter and make homemade dino cookies! To Amazon!). 2017 update: This year, it's The Jungle Book!
I have a sickness.
One thing I don’t feel bad about is how many books I got him. Oh so many books. My tendency to justify any and all book purchases for myself has crossed over into my spending habits for Jax, too. He will receive the complete stories of Pooh (A.A. Milne, none of the Disney-fied crap), a Beatrix Potter hardcover gift set, some Seuss, a couple “make potty training fun”-type books, books for his beloved LeapReader Junior, and one of my childhood all-time faves, Corduroy. 2017 update: Curious George and Pete the Cat.
Unapologetic book gluttony. (And listen, I did restrain myself, because The Snowy Day, Harold and the Purple Crayon, multiple Berenstain Bears books, and the Corduroy sequels are still on my wishlist. For now.) 2017 update: I forgot about The Snowy Day! Back to Amazon...
Then there are the cars. And the Cars cars. And the Cars cars tracks. A Cars-framed digital picture frame for family photos. 2017 update: Now they make Cars mini drifters and Legos. Sheesh. Nemo wall decals. A coloring/crafts kit I’m building from scratch. New hiking boots.
I haven’t even told you what his big present is yet... 2017 update: It was a Power Wheels. He loved it then and still loves it. Big present this year is redoing his bedroom while he's visiting his dad. Think BIG.
I’m kind of notoriously anti-Christmas, so this is all new to me. Christmas is for kids, anyway, so it doesn’t feel inauthentic to go nuts for little man. There's also the fact that it's just me. I have to do gifts from Santa AND Mom. And I’m not by any means rich. I’ve been collecting stuff for months. The truth is I forgot about some of it. When a new gift came in the mail, I stuffed it under my bed. I only recently started pulling stuff out and…yeah, I overwhelmed even myself.
Still, lest you think consumerism is about to, you know, consume me, please know that I’m just swept up in the newness of spoiling my kid on Christmas. Please know he’s been very, very good this year and deserves the spoiling. Please know my son and I have done plenty of fun and free holiday things, like driving around to look at lights and drawing pictures of reindeer and wrapping the little things I got him to “give” to other people. Please know that I’ve also made donations to the local domestic violence shelter. Please know that I’m going to participate in canned food drives, and I made a United Way donation through my employer. Please know that I haven’t forgotten what this season is about. Please know I’m not one of those crazy people who thinks there’s a war on Christmas every time someone says “happy holidays” (I say “happy holidays.” I don’t care what you say as long as you aren’t a jerk about it.).
Please also know that I will impart these lessons to my son. 2017 update: We're going to go through all his old toys and fill a bin to donate to an area shelter; give all his teachers cards that he will sign his name to for the first time ever; and he will pick out tiny presents for a few very special people and pay for them with his Trolls bank money and allowance. That is, if I can wrap up his shopping with enough $$ left to gas the car and take him to a store.
What’s the best present you’re giving this holiday season?
We don't celebrate the holidays per se. We have dinner with the family, but we don't exchange gifts in my household with a "merry" or "happy" anything attached, unless it's a random Tuesday in the middle of the month, you know? That said, my kids are getting cash and books. Cash to teach them how to function, and save, and budget; books because of the knowledge they represent and contain.
I can see myself doing something like that when Jax is older. I'm not entirely comfortable with spoiling him like this, but I think it's partly a solo mom pride thing--giving him more than what I had, showing (who?) that I can do this holiday thing without a man, and so on. It's problematic but makes me feel good? I don't know...
I understand. Just be careful, because kids notice things, and start behaving with a certain expectation; it can really backfire unless it's tempered.
Oh I hear that. I will say that all other times of the year, the focus is very much on "what did you do to earn a treat?" Jax gets an allowance for following the rules and cleaning up his own messes. Eventually, he'll have to do more to earn it as he learns that cleaning up after himself is just what you do (no reward for doing what you're supposed to do!). I'm conscientious of not raising another entitled male, belieeeeeeeve me. ;)
There are Cuordory sequels!? How did I knot know about this?
I got Nathan an engraved pocket watch from the girls this year. I'm really pleased with that one.