#5-Laughing my ass off big time. Some of my favorite quotes, jokes,true stories that I have created over my life time plus others.

in #funny6 years ago (edited)

Posting daily 5 quotes, jokes and true stories.

A mouse and an elephant approach each other. The elephant looks down at the mouse condescendingly.

The mouse to the elephant-"Why do you look down on me?As if you are better than every other animal in the kingdom! Tell you what, I could fuck you so hard that you wouldn't know what hit you!"
Of course the elephant laughs but decides to let the little mouse fuck her. The elephant lays down and the mouse pulls out his dick and mounts the elephant from behind and proceeds to pump away with all his might. Right at that moment a coconut falls out of a tree and hits the elephant squarely on the head. The elephant groans and screams out in pain.The mouse to the elephant-

"Take that bitch,that's what I'm talking about. You want more, who's your daddy now?!"

TRUE STORY:
golfing-in-slacks.jpg

Two males out playing golf. Realizing that they are about to catch up with two females playing ahead of them. One of the men decides to walk ahead to ask the ladies if they could play through. Suddenly he turns back and quickly returns. Upon his return the other golfer asks him what happened and he replies, "As I got closer to them. I realized that one of the woman is my wife and the other is my mistress, best if you approach on the next hole". So on the next hole the other male starts to approach the two ladies then he too quickly turns around and scurries back to his playing partner. When asked why he returned so quickly, he replies, "As I got closer I realized that one of the woman was my wife and the other was my mistress! Bugger this, let's go back to the bar for a beer" As they are sipping on their beers, one says to the other, "What are the odds that we would run into both our wives on the same golf course?" It takes a while before it dawns on them that each other's wife was the other's lover.

Best punch up ever and the most fun I have ever had in a golf club!! Thank you so much STRAWBERRY FIELDS GOLF CLUB!

Fastest way to billionaire status!!

Write a book on the secrets to understanding woman. Not only will you become rich but you would help countless men the world over!

Want to see a joke?

112941187_trump news_trans_NvBQzQNjv4Bqeo_i_u9APj8RuoebjoAHt0k9u7HhRJvuo-ZLenGRumA.jpg

Two curious young children in the next room can hear moans and groans from their parents room. Young boy to sister- " What are they doing?". Sister to brother, " I asked them that question a couple of days ago. According to dad, its a game they play called daddy parking his Ferrari in mum's garage BUT according to mum, its a game called daddy parking his mini in mum's double garage!"

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IF YOU LIKED ANY OF THE JOKES PLEASE COMMENT AND CHECK OUT MY OTHER POST FOR MORE LAUGHS :

https://steemit.com/funny/@skytronia/laughing-my-ass-off-big-time-some-of-my-favorite-quotes-jokes-true-stories-that-i-have-created-over-my-life-time-plus-others-4

https://steemit.com/funny/@skytronia/laughing-my-ass-off-big-time-some-of-my-favorite-quotes-jokes-that-i-have-created-over-my-life-time-plus-others-3

https://steemit.com/life/@skytronia/laughing-my-f-king-ass-off-big-time-2

https://steemit.com/vincentb/@skytronia/laughing-my-ass-off-big-time-some-of-my-favorite-quotes-jokes-that-i-have-created-over-my-life-time-plus-others-slap-that-ass

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Images sourced google images, free clipart, free images, pixabay.

Trump image from :[https://www.google.com.au/search?dcr=0&biw=1368&bih=502&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=DxyKWoWaOYPh0gS_jbSYBA&q=silly+images+of+trump+IMAGES&oq=silly+images+of+trump+IMAGES&gs_l=psy-ab.3...746286.752719.0.753194.36.22.0.0.0.0.506.3851.2-5j4j1j1.11.0....0...1c.1.64.psy-ab..31.1.347...0j0i7i5i30k1j0i8i30k1.0.AnYeL-oDPAg#imgrc=LTcM2MVFbWmIwM:]

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thanks so much.

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posts are not interested and not funny at all

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thank you very much

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