Numerous countries can offer hamberders in suitable quantities.
Washington, August 12 - The White House announced today the latest element in its initiative to transform a war-torn, radicalized Palestinian territory into a paradise of resorts and industry: incentives to migrate out of the territory, in the form of hamberders and covfefe.
In a post on his Truth Social network, President Donald Trump declared this morning, "The people of Gaza need INDUCEMENT to help themselves and MAKE GAZA GREAT. I was never "GREAT" before but it can be now if they move away and let others develop it. Wherever they go, and they can go many places, we're working on it, they will get FREE HAMBERDERS AND COVFEFE. It's the best deal they will will ever get. Thank you for your attention to this matter."
Aides to the president elaborated on the incentive. "The aid packages sustaining so many people in Gaza right now are basic," explained White House Press Secretary Katherine Leavitt. "They have to be, because they can't contain perishables. Certainly not this time of year. Still, hundreds of thousands of Gazans depend on the aid, which Hamas often hijacks. The president believes the time is ripe to open an emigration channel, and to encourage Gazans to clear out and take away Hamas's use of Palestinian suffering as leverage. Everyone loves hamberders. they'll come clamoring for them."
Ms. Leavitt declined to specify to where the emigrating Gazans will immigrate; numerous countries can offer hamberders in suitable quantities.
"Many of the details have yet to be worked out, but it doesn't have to involve only one destination country," she stated in response to a reporter's question. "It doesn't even have to be a country with major hamberder production of its own. Other, hamberder-rich countries can contribute. That way, the emigrating Gazans have choice - something they have lacked for a long time under oppressive Hamas rule."
Officials acknowledged that free hamberders will attract only some Gazans. "Instagram and TikTok provide enough evidence that Gaza is hardly starving," noted Steve Menuhin, who served as Secretary of the Treasury during Trump's first term. "The people living in the large areas of Gaza that don't need food aid will require other inducements, likely not in the gustatory realm. The president's team is hard at work developing those alternative incentives. One thing we know Gaza Palestinians like is kidnapping, raping, looting, and holding hostages, or at least remaining mum while the family next door holds hostages. The challenge there lies in creating the right kind of inducement that exploits just such a set of proclivities."
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