Image is mine
Personally, I cannot marry a man whose mother doesn't love me because once the mother hates you, most of the other family members will follow suit in that hatred.
In Nigeria we do not just marry the man, we marry the family too and if you as much as marry into a family that doesn't love you, it is your children who will bear the brunt in the long run.
My siblings and I have life going on easy for us because both parts of my extended family love my parents. It's almost like a close knitted union.
Growing up, we never felt like we were outcast, the least favorite or the least loved. In my mother's place we are greatly loved and in my father's place, the love is just as felt and we are always welcomed.
While not all mothers-in-law are bad, it is very important to pay close attention to how your man's people treat you upon first meeting and as the relationship develops.
I often hear some women say as long as we love each other, that's all that matters, to me it's not. I mean, how would I sleep comfortably at night knowing that I am married to a man who is not in talking terms with his mother because of me?
My first relationship started well, I had this mentality of my first boyfriend will be my husband but it didn't turn out so because the mother grew to hate me. At first when we met, she welcomed me with open arms. She fed me with all sorts even when I was full, the food kept coming. She gave me her wrapper for the night and seemed excited to have me around.
She would always call to check up on me and won't let me do any house chores during my stay. I remember going to meet them at the village and how excited she was to have me around. She introduced me to every member of their extended family and I was given the baby treatment. I felt at home and I felt really loved. It was like an extension of my biological family and my partner's home became a home away from home.
In no distant time, both our families got familiar. I think that was when trouble entered paradise because the first time my partner invited me over to his home, he had told his mother that my father is a senator and we both attend the same Uni. When he asked me to play along with the lies, I felt inadequate and I felt uncomfortable but I did play along.
Not like my family is poor or anything, but the thing is, we aren't elites and that became a problem to his mother whom I later discovered to be a snob. The moment she realized she had been played, she turned all that love she showed me to hate and made life unbearable for me whenever I visit.
Her maltreatment got so out of hand that on several occasions, fights broke out between her and my partner, usually because of me.
One night, she asked me to leave the house. She created such a huge scene that neighbor's from other compounds and streets gathered.
My partner's father was around and even he could not calm the situation, as she got really violent. They had to lock her up in her room for me to be able to pass the night in the house in peace. While she was locked in, she kept screaming from the window how I will never be a part of her family and when some of their neighbors questioned her why? I listened carefully to know my offense but she never said anything. She just said that I am not good enough for her son.
It was that night I resolved to walk away and by the next morning when the father tried to do damage control and was telling me not to mind his wife and that he loves me, his son loves me, his family loves me and that's all that matters, I had already made up my mind to leave.
To me, their love wasn't enough if the mother clearly hates me, so I exited.
Above is my response to the Inleo prompt for day 26, you can participate HERE
Posted Using InLeo Alpha
I second 🙌 I am married but even if I was still single, there's no way I would have married without my mother in-law loving or liking me. A mother in-laws love is very important in marriage.
It can not be overemphasized Sist 🤝🏾
Babe, good thing you walked away... because if not, your life would have miserable even with her son loving you
In most cases, is my mother in-law I report to whenever my husband get me upset...that's how much we are close and lovely
I can't even imagine marrying a man whose mother in-law hates me because of course, I am marrying the whole family and not just the man
You are very lucky Sist... I do not envy women who marry into families that they are not welcomed because it can never be me making such costly mistakes.