Source
When it comes to self-preservation, I feel that looking out for one's self first is essential. The entire concept of self-preservation is to understand your needs and requirements to live a happy and peaceful life free of external pressures and stressors.
One way to deal with these external forces is an attitude of indifference.
I know that many people feel that being indifferent is a negative personality trait. It may well be. I think numerous factors are involved in reaching that conclusion.
My thoughts on the concept of indifference is that it is not a two-way boulevard of passing headlights in the night. There is a median for both parties to toss their feelings onto.
Nothing in life is guaranteed. Not love, not health, not wealth, and certainly not life itself. To burden others with expectations only lead to disappointment, confusion, strife, and disharmony.
The side of the perpetrators who feel that they are being unjustly targeted as unfeeling and forced to respond or take action on behalf of the other person is unfair.
For the supposedly victims to feel indifference toward them is unhealthy. The individuals who maintain an expectation from someone else when their needs are not met is selfish.
A negative reflection is laid at the feet of the person exhibiting the attitude. That person may seem uncaring, neglectful, or having no feelings about the world, society, or individuals around them.
This is true for world matters where pain and suffering is taking place daily due to poverty, war, and conflicts. A person is seen as not caring about his fellow human beings if an attitude is seen or comments are spoken that don't align with the general public's view.
In those instances, a person can't afford to remain unconcerned, or indifferent if situations are to change for a better society.
I can understand it when situations occur that demand a person's attention when evil is being dealt toward certain group or groups of individuals. Perhaps it may pertain to childhood poverty or homelessness.
However, on a personal level, I feel an attitude of indifference is up to the individuals in certain circumstances. I call this protective mode, "emotional survival".
Indifference on a personal level
I have an inherited medical condition. Several members of the family deal with this same disease. As we entered the senior citizen stage, we have been dealing with this for decades. We each were diagnosed at different ages in our lives.
Several of us understood the complexities of the disease and deal with them on an individual basis. Where possible, we come together to help and encourage each other financially or personally with support.
It came to a point in my life where my feelings changed toward a certain family member.
At first, I was supportive and listened. I gave financial as well as moral support. This was done while still dealing with other family members' needs.
All this while dealing with my own issues related to management of this disease.
At some point, and I didn't really realize it wasn't instant, but a slow developing feeling where love descended, one step at a time, to the bottom of my caring.
I felt as if I were a sounding board for all things gone wrong in her life.
I could no longer hold up her incessant tugging at my feelings. Each time I thought of her, emotions would swell. Stomach churned, headaches emerged, and a dread of awful incident involving her. Nothing positive.
Does that mean I stopped loving her? No. It means that I finally realized over time that I had become indifferent.
I had to. My own life was at stake. Did she care about my medical diagnosis. NO. She only cared that I listen.
The answering machine sounded out her name. It didn't matter whether the sound was incorrect. The tone and urgency was the same.
Hurry and pick up the phone. I need to tell you the latest in my ongoing saga of...
To my dismay, I answered the call. I wasn't feeling well myself. A migraine had grabbed hold and wouldn't let go. I didn't need to listen intently. I'd heard it all before.
Being denied benefits. Government is against me. Nobody will listen to my concerns. Today I feel bad. The medicine isn't working.
Indifference set in. Five minutes later, I placed the phone down and went to the ladies room. I could still hear her talking.
She didn't need me to respond, only listen.
When I returned, I picked up on the other side of the conversation. No need to worry about the portion missed. She would repeat it twice more before she concluded that day.
I managed to insert a few monotone, perfunctory phrases.
Finally, I asked weakly, "What do you want me to do about it? I've already given you my advice last month. Did you look into the services I mentioned?" I waited, knowing the response.
"I haven't had time. I've been so busy because..." Another hour segment of "Days of Her Life".
Silence for a moment. Then I was taken down a familiar path of sidestepping, not taking responsibility for her own actions or inaction, errors and omissions.
And lastly, "You just don't understand what I'm dealing with."
At that point, I was totally flustered. My migraine rose up to remind me of the external stressors penetrating my resolve. I breathed deeply before continuing.
"Well, you do remember that I have the same condition as you. I've outlined to you before how I handle my situation. If you talk to other family, they'll give you the same advice. With our family history, we already know what we're dealing with." I waited.
"But the others just don't understand. They don't want to hear it." Her voice waned. She was out of breath.
"Do you need me to come over? Are you eating properly? Have your children visited as they agreed to? Are you out of medicine? Do you need medical attention right now?" I waited. I could hear laughter in the background from the game show on television.
At this point, I wanted to cry, but held back the tears. It wasn't worth it to my mental health.
Indifference? Sometimes it's a matter of emotional survival.
Una cuestión de supervivencia emocional | Indiferencia (Tema del mes de mayo) en Emociones y sentimientos
Source
En lo que respecta a la autopreservación, creo que lo primero es cuidar de uno mismo. Todo el concepto de autoconservación consiste en comprender tus necesidades y requisitos para vivir una vida feliz y tranquila, libre de presiones y factores de estrés externos.
Una forma de enfrentarse a estas fuerzas externas es una actitud de indiferencia.
Sé que mucha gente piensa que ser indiferente es un rasgo negativo de la personalidad. Puede que lo sea. Creo que intervienen numerosos factores para llegar a esa conclusión.
Mi opinión sobre el concepto de indiferencia es que no se trata de un bulevar de dos direcciones en el que pasan los faros en la noche. Hay una mediana a la que ambas partes pueden arrojar sus sentimientos.
Nada está garantizado en la vida. Ni el amor, ni la salud, ni la riqueza, ni mucho menos la vida misma. Cargar a los demás con expectativas sólo conduce a la decepción, la confusión, la lucha y la falta de armonía.
El lado de los agresores que se sienten injustamente señalados como insensibles y obligados a responder o actuar en nombre de la otra persona es injusto.
Que las supuestas víctimas sientan indiferencia hacia ellas no es sano. Los individuos que mantienen una expectativa de otra persona cuando no se satisfacen sus necesidades son egoístas.
El reflejo negativo se pone a los pies de la persona que muestra esa actitud. Esa persona puede parecer indiferente, negligente o que no siente nada por el mundo, la sociedad o las personas que la rodean.
Esto es cierto en asuntos mundiales donde el dolor y el sufrimiento tienen lugar a diario debido a la pobreza, la guerra y los conflictos. Se considera que una persona no se preocupa por sus semejantes si ve una actitud o hace comentarios que no coinciden con la opinión general.
En esos casos, una persona no puede permitirse permanecer despreocupada o indiferente si quiere que las situaciones cambien para mejorar la sociedad.
Puedo entender que se produzcan situaciones que exijan la atención de una persona cuando se está haciendo el mal a cierto grupo o grupos de individuos. Tal vez pueda referirse a la pobreza infantil o a las personas sin hogar.
Sin embargo, a nivel personal, creo que una actitud de indiferencia depende de los individuos en determinadas circunstancias. Yo llamo a este modo de protección, "supervivencia emocional".
Indiferencia a nivel personal
Tengo una enfermedad hereditaria. Varios miembros de la familia padecen esta misma enfermedad. Al entrar en la etapa de la tercera edad, llevamos décadas lidiando con esto. A cada uno de nosotros se nos diagnosticó a edades diferentes de nuestra vida.
Varios de nosotros comprendimos las complejidades de la enfermedad y las afrontamos de forma individual. En la medida de lo posible, nos unimos para ayudarnos y animarnos económica o personalmente con apoyo.
Llegó un momento en mi vida en que mis sentimientos cambiaron hacia cierto miembro de la familia.
Al principio, le apoyaba y le escuchaba. Le di apoyo económico y moral. Todo ello sin dejar de atender las necesidades de otros miembros de la familia.
Todo ello mientras me ocupaba de mis propios problemas relacionados con la gestión de esta enfermedad.
En algún momento, y en realidad no me di cuenta de que no fue instantáneo, sino un sentimiento de desarrollo lento en el que el amor descendía, paso a paso, hasta el fondo de mi cariño.
Me sentía como una caja de resonancia de todas las cosas que iban mal en su vida.
No podía aguantar más su incesante tirón de mis sentimientos. Cada vez que pensaba en ella, se me agolpaban las emociones. Se me revolvía el estómago, me dolía la cabeza y temía cualquier incidente horrible relacionado con ella. Nada positivo.
¿Significa eso que dejé de quererla? No. Significa que con el tiempo me di cuenta de que me había vuelto indiferente.
Tenía que hacerlo. Mi propia vida estaba en juego. ¿Le importaba mi diagnóstico médico? NO. Sólo le importaba que la escuchara.
El contestador emitió su nombre. No importaba si el sonido era incorrecto. El tono y la urgencia eran los mismos.
Date prisa y coge el teléfono. Necesito contarte lo último de mi saga de...
Para mi consternación, contesté a la llamada. Yo tampoco me encontraba bien. Una migraña se había apoderado de mí y no me soltaba. No necesitaba escuchar atentamente. Ya lo había oído todo.
Me deniegan prestaciones. El gobierno está en mi contra. Nadie escucha mis preocupaciones. Hoy me siento mal. La medicina no funciona.
La indiferencia se apodera de mí. Cinco minutos después, colgué el teléfono y fui al servicio. Aún podía oírla hablar.
No necesitaba que le respondiera, sólo que la escuchara.
Cuando volví, retomé la conversación. No había necesidad de preocuparse por la parte perdida. Lo repetiría dos veces más antes de terminar el día.
Conseguí intercalar algunas frases monótonas y superficiales.
Por último, pregunté débilmente: "¿Qué quieres que haga al respecto? Ya te di mi consejo el mes pasado. ¿Investigaste los servicios que te mencioné?". Esperé, conociendo la respuesta.
"No he tenido tiempo. He estado tan ocupada porque..." Otro segmento de una hora de "Days of Her Life".
Silencio por un momento. Luego me llevó por un camino familiar de eludir, no asumir la responsabilidad de sus propias acciones o inacción, errores y omisiones.
Y por último, "Simplemente no entiendes a lo que me enfrento".
En ese momento, me sentí totalmente desconcertada. Mi migraña se levantó para recordarme los factores de estrés externos que penetraban en mi resolución. Respiré hondo antes de continuar.
"Bueno, recuerda que tengo la misma enfermedad que tú. Ya te he explicado antes cómo manejo mi situación. Si hablas con otros familiares, te darán los mismos consejos. Con nuestra historia familiar, ya sabemos a qué nos enfrentamos". Esperé.
"Pero los demás no lo entienden. No quieren oírlo". Su voz se apagó. Se quedó sin aliento.
"¿Necesitas que vaya? ¿Estás comiendo bien? ¿Te han visitado tus hijos como acordaron? ¿No tiene medicinas? ¿Necesita atención médica ahora mismo?". Esperé. De fondo se oían las risas del concurso de televisión.
Llegados a este punto, me entraron ganas de llorar, pero contuve las lágrimas. No merecía la pena para mi salud mental.
¿Indiferencia? A veces es una cuestión de supervivencia emocional.
SOURCES:
a) JustClickindiva's Footer created in Canva utilizing its free background and images used with permission from discord admins.
b) Unless otherwise noted, all photos taken by me with my (i) Samsung Galaxy 10" Tablet, (ii) Samsung Phone, & (iii) FUJI FinePix S3380 - 14 Mega Pixels Digital Camera
c) Purple Butterfly part of purchased set of Spiritual Clip Art for my Personal Use
d) All Community logos, banners, page dividers used with permission of Discord Channel admins.
e) Ladies of Hive banner used with permission of and in accordance with the admin's guidelines
f) Thumbnail Image created by me in Canva.
g) "Flames." What is Apophysis 2.09. https://flam3.com/
If translation included, I use DeepL to assist my readers.
Thanks for your patience an understanding.
Si se incluye traducción, utilizo DeepL para ayudar a mis lectores.
Gracias por su paciencia y comprensión.
So WHO then understands? And why talk to people who "just don't understand"? 😅
I'm sorry about your inherited medical condition and absolutely agree that prioritising your physical and mental well-being is important. In the few years that I've lived, I know humans are complicated and our needs are insatiable. We want more and more. When we don't get it or stop getting it, our perception becomes whacked and the other person becomes the "villain" in the story. And that's sad.
In the case of your family member, all she wants is a listening ear! The advice mean nothing since she won't take any step to make her situation better. Its totally understandable if you choose to be indifferent to her while supporting her in other ways. Its a great way to protect your mental and emotional health.
😂 This is funny! It reminds me of the TV show "Days of Our Lives" which by the way has been renewed to 2025! Your sense of humor is refreshing. Thanks for sharing this thought-provoking piece. I hope you are having a great day. Take care. !LADY
Hello. I didn't know DAYS had been renewed. My mom loved that particular Soap Opera. Yes, all the family came to realize that she didn't want advice, just someone to listen to her complaints. My personality is that, if you call me. I'll tell you something you can use. If you don't listen, then don't call me again with the same issue. Stop wasting my time. I don't want your situation in my thoughts each day.
When one has her own issues to deal with, it is advised not to concentrate on external stressors. Your health and well-being is at stake.
Thanks so much for your visit and rational thinking about the situation. I appreciate your engagement.
Take care and have a good rest of your week.
!ALIVE
@kemmyb! You Are Alive so I just staked 0.1 $ALIVE to your account on behalf of @justclickindiva. (7/10)
The tip has been paid for by the We Are Alive Tribe through the earnings on @alive.chat, feel free to swing by our daily chat any time you want.
View or trade
LOHtokens.@kemmyb, you successfully shared 0.1000 LOH with @justclickindiva and you earned 0.1000 LOH as tips. (3/3 calls)
Use !LADY command to share LOH! More details available in this post.
Wow!! Tu historia nos acerca hacia otro lado de la indiferencia.
Poderoso ese parte del texto. Gracias por compartir 😊. Lección aprehendida.
Hola @belkisa758. Gracias por tu visita y tus amables palabras. Sí, siempre hay otra cara en cualquier historia. Mirar simplemente a la persona que decide no implicarse en una situación y etiquetarla de "indiferente" no es una valoración justa. Hay que mirar a la supuesta víctima y ver dónde está la culpa de que se produzca la acción.
Le agradezco su compromiso. Cuídate y que tengas un buen resto de semana.
Hello @belkisa758. Thank you for your visit and kind words. Yes, there is always another side to any story. Just looking at the person who chooses not to involve themselves in a situation and labeling that person as "indifferent" is not a fair assessment. One has to look at the so-called victim and see where any fault lies to bring the action about.
I appreciate your engagement. Take care and have a good rest of your week.
!ALIVE
@belkisa758! You Are Alive so I just staked 0.1 $ALIVE to your account on behalf of @justclickindiva. (8/10)
The tip has been paid for by the We Are Alive Tribe through the earnings on @alive.chat, feel free to swing by our daily chat any time you want.
Describes una situación muy difícil. Concuerdo contigo, a veces ser indiferente se convierte en un mecanismo de sobrevivencia. Gracias por compartir estimada @justclickindiva. Un fuerte abrazo desde Maracay.
Hola @irvinc. Estoy de acuerdo. A veces sólo hay que dar un paso atrás y ver la situación tal y como es. Entonces puedes determinar si quieres participar en que alguien te arrastre y luego te haga sentir culpable por no simpatizar con él.
Una vez que le das a alguien las herramientas y consejos para ayudarle, y no hace el trabajo para mejorarse a sí mismo, entonces no hay nada más que puedas hacer.
Le agradezco su visita y su reconfortante comentario. Gracias también por tu apoyo.
Cuídate y que tengas un buen resto de semana.
Hello @irvinc. I agree. Sometimes you just have to take a step back and look at the situation for what it is. Then you can determine whether you want to participate in someone dragging you down, then making you feel guilty for not sympathizing with them.
Once you give someone the tools and advice to help them, and they don't do the work to better themselves, then there is nothing else you can do
I appreciate your visit and comforting comment. Thank you for your support as well.
Take care and have a good rest of your week.
!ALIVE.
@irvinc! You Are Alive so I just staked 0.1 $ALIVE to your account on behalf of @justclickindiva. (5/10)
The tip has been paid for by the We Are Alive Tribe through the earnings on @alive.chat, feel free to swing by our daily chat any time you want.
Hello dear @justclickindiva 🙋
Sad to say, but more people have been in that situation than we would like. It is difficult for them to listen, to see their situation objectively and to pay attention to what is so lovingly advised. And yes, sometimes it is necessary to take measures so that it does not affect us in such a way that it harms us. 🙏
The roots of such behavior can be diverse, and medical help can be of vital importance. Too bad it is dismissed by many. ⚖️
We are pleased with this content you bring us today, complementing with unique colors the picture we are painting this month. 💚
Hugs 🤗
Hello. Thanks so much for your visit and kind words. It was a pleasure to participate in this month's theme. It's extremely difficult when you are dealing with a family member as opposed to others. Years of dealing with an illness can definitely take its toll.
As you stated:
I believe this as well. Refusing to seek help whether medical or mental when it is offered or not taking advice is a sign of other deep-rooted problems. A family member can only do so much other than lend an ear.
I attended upon recommendation from my doctor a Diabetes/Nutritional Support Specialist Counselor that helped me with my attitude and outlook toward our disease. Unfortunately, she refused to accept such counseling. I learned that food and one's relationship to it is a large component to one's mental outlook when dealing with this health crisis.
However, when several members of the same family are dealing with an issue, support is key. Some accept support and advice, while others shy away.
Thanks for your engagement. Have a good rest of your week.
!ALIVE
Hmmmm am short of words but looking after yourself is the first thing anyways because we all have one or two things to deal with in our lives.
Hello @princess-dara. Yes, looking after yourself comes first. Sometimes you have to guard against others invading your personal space and upsetting your emotions and feelings. If you don't protect yourself, then who will?
Thanks for visiting and leaving your kind words.
Take care and have a good rest of your week.
!ALIVE
@princess-dara! You Are Alive so I just staked 0.1 $ALIVE to your account on behalf of @justclickindiva. (1/10)
The tip has been paid for by the We Are Alive Tribe through the earnings on @alive.chat, feel free to swing by our daily chat any time you want.
@justclickindiva, @pixresteemer(1/10) sent you LUV. | tools | discord | community |
HiveWiki | 
NFT | <>< daily