Truly, loosing someone dear is an experience I haven't felt. My girlfriend did and her experience is very emotional and she shares with me every day how the people who are no longer here with her changed her life for good. Is hard to not wonder where are we going when good people die. It's like the world looses a bit of it's beauty when they do. You can actually feel it inside you, how some emotional worth towards the whole "life" thing dissapears. Nelson Mandela for instance. I would say it's the only person I heard no complains but only stories about courage, leadership and compassion.
I can only hope when I die I leave many smiles behind me.