I have an inkling of an idea of what you are going through as I myself have lost my dad for 13years now, his absence has been greatly felt. I still miss him, the difference is that it’s less heart wrenching or numbing. The values learnt and memories are yours to keep as well implement. Do take heart💕
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The legacy of thoughts , learning, and k owledge need to be carried on. But his absence can never be filled and it is hard to be like him and maintain his stature in society....I understand it take time to recover but the wound is fresh it doesn't heel so easily