His smile! His charisma shines through every photo. What a shock to "take his hand and accompany him until his last heartbeat here on this earth... he was only 40 years old." Brutal. A father! A husband. (Maybe a "cheater," but still, you're the one he married.) I feel your pain. And I love your insight:
just look for a hand, it is very difficult to get out alone, but above all you must make a decision, and only you can do it. Yes, you can do it.
Look for a hand to help you up, out of the dark place, the sorrow, the loss. Enter again the land of the living.
Wishing you and your son many years together - - time does not heal all wounds, it only leaves scar tissue, as Rose Kennedy said, but you are on the path. You are not alone. Thank you for sharing this!
Oh, thank you for now reading our story somehow being a part of it.
Couldn't have said it better, we are in the world of the living.
In a little while I will tell of our life after this struggle.
And I look forward to hearing more from you.