Perhaps the best — or most significant — piece of advice I have received came several decades ago when someone assured me that "there is no such thing as NORMAL."
It is perhaps part of many people's journeys of self-discovery that we linger on the idea of "being normal" or "fitting the norm," lest we somehow end up left out of whatever it is life has to offer. Because — surely — the world is designed around what is most common; most typical.
Along with this idea of "normal" comes the notion that we must not be — or come across as — AB-normal, even if it feels like the very process of fitting in feels all wrong.
I can remember many times in my teens and youth where I was told to "not be weird." And, of course, I heeded that advice... even though it made no sense. But I was also aware of the effects of non-normalcy through the mere fact of being 6'4" (194cm) tall. If you don't think that makes a difference, try working in a kitchen for several hours were "standard" countertops are based on the working height of someone 5'7" (170cm).
All these years later, neuroscience has come a long way, and we have a much better idea of how brains work and that — with relatively few exceptions — there's nothing directly wrong with a lot of people, aside from the fact that their brains are wired a little differently.
It took me till quite late in life to understand that my seeming "lack of motivation" was actually the result of brain chemistry that was different from birth, and that I was not actually "lazy," but simply motivated by things that were different from most people.
I suppose I might have known that something was a little different by the odd fact that coffee never really woke me up, and I'd sometimes have a couple of cups late at night and then sleep quite happily right after. I might also have realized it through knowing that my most productive (brain-wise) times of the day are between 6:00am and 9:00am, and 10:00pm and 1:00am.
As I started writing these words, it was 2:30 in the afternoon, and I'd actually rather be asleep... a tendency that has been with me since I was quite young. But it's not how the world works!
It was also late in life that I learned that my tendency to always be doing things last minute had less to do with being poorly organized than with having a poor sense of the amount of time needed to complete tasks. That, in turn, came from a tendency to hyperfocus meaning I simply didn't pay attention to clocks and time, when fully engaged.
One of my working solutions for productivity is to break everything into very small tasks, so I can complete them before my attention starts to wander.
Some people who watch me think I'm being very "scattered," but there is very much a functional purpose to my approach... which has helped me navigate modern life remarkably well!
Without a doubt, it's a complex issue... but people are wired differently, and the best thing we can do is try to find ways to navigate, using our quirks rather than fighting against them.
Thanks for stopping by and have a great remainder of your week!
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Created at 2025.12.10 01:37 PST
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I'm 5'8" and I insisted the lower cabinets on the new kitchen Island be at least 5" higher. Had my husband been alive, he would have fought it tooth and nail. But it's saved my back often over the last 4 years.... The perimeter cabinets are standard high for those who help me that are shorter...