Communication is a small miracle!
And I'm not just talking about the way humanity has managed to invent language so that we can communicate with each other, but I'm talking about the miracle of nuances within language and how we interpret the same words to actually mean different things.
Consider, for example, how many times we end up talking to somebody and then we part ways — perhaps with a set of instructions to carry out a request or specific task — and then we get back together and there was some kind of miscommunication that ends with the phrase "oh I'm sorry... I thought you meant something else!"
I'm sure that's happened to you at some point or another.
And sometimes it seems like we can be saying the same thing to somebody and yet we end up in a situation where pretty much feel like we were speaking in a foreign language!
Of Shovels, Holes and Support...
Consider — for example — the situation in which a man is digging a big hole in the ground. After a while, the man thanks to himself *"I'm feeling overwhelmed by this task, and I could really use some support!
Meanwhile, there are a number of people up at the top of the hole, who are all genuinely interested in what the man is doing. Each one — by their words and actions — firmly believe they're actually "supporting" the man.
One gives him encouraging words and tells him that he's doing a great job as a hole digger. Another brings a bottle of water and a sandwich because surely that would be needed when you're digging a hole. Yet another stands up there and talks about the best and the most efficacious way to dig a hole with the least amount of energy. Yet another goes home and returns with his new ergonomic shovel that prevents back injuries.
And yet, the man doesn't feel supported! He doesn't feel supported because in his sense of what the word "support" means it would mean that somebody else grabs a shovel, jumps in the hole and helps him dig the hole... then he would feel supported.
It's a good example of how we tend to interpret what something means in communication through our own lenses of experience and our own preferences. Even though we may be speaking the same words, we might as well be using a foreign language!
And it serves as a poignant reminder that we humans are all different because what (for example) we each need to receive in order to feel supported means different things. Of course this is by no means limited to words like "support;" it is an issue that runs through the entire range of the language.
If there is a lesson to be taken away from all this it would be that it is important not only to communicate clearly but to make sure that whoever you are talking to understands what the meaning is that you're assigning to a particular message. It's not enough to say something clearly, we must also make sure that it's heard and interpreted the way we wanted to be understood.
I suppose that is one of the definitions of "consciousness!"
There are a few places that can cause more conflict in communication —particularly in family situations — than when it comes to money, saving money and investing money.
It is quite amazing how different people's impressions of what it means "to save" and what it means "to spend sensibly" and what it means "to be frugal" actually means. That is to say, one person's frugal is sometimes another person spendthrift!
Similarly, using a generic term like "that cost a lot of money" brings to mind completely different things to different people.
So yes, communication truly is a small miracle, and we'd do well to be as mindful as possible in expressing what it is we truly want or need from others!
Thanks for reading, and have a great remainder of your week!
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Created at 2023-06-22 00:33 PST
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Miscommunication happens so easily, and can cause disagreements, or waste precious time, especially when instructing someone to do a task!
So very true how we can have a different understanding of a specific word or term.
I also think the secret is to listen; really listen and take cognisance of a situation before interpreting what the person is trying to convey.
Listening not only with our ears, but also with our eyes will go a long way in bringing about understanding.
Much food for thought!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts here in our community @denmarkguy.
So many people hear what they want to hear, or they don't listen at all. Communication really starts with being a good listener. How many times is one involved in a conversation when they barely get out their last word and the person they're talking to comes back with an immediate response. That's the first clue for me that they didn't hear a word that you said.
Words can be twisted to mean many things and twisting them in your favor is all too common.
Nothing is simply black and white anymore and that is a shame as hundreds of shades of gray appear at every turn. Compromise is a lost art as listening has been drowned out by
what is swirling around in one's gray matter, knowing that what they have to say carries complete legitimacy.
How can what seems to be a fact have two totally different sides.
It's too bad that more folks don't speak the language of truth.