Mired myself down in yet another "eBay listing marathon" today... and couldn't help but reminisce about a time — about 15 years ago, or so — when I would do these things every two weeks, steady like clockwork... and still do all sort of other things in between.
It just seems a lot harder, these days.
I suppose I could ascribe that to the very real possibility that my ADHD-ish tendencies have only gotten worse since 2007... maybe that's to be expected, since I don't do the whole medication thing... but that doesn't really reflect the entire picture.
I suppose I could also ascribe my slowness to the fact that it's still a lot of work, but sadly the end result is a fraction of what it was, back then. I remember putting up 100-odd auction listings, and routinely having $500 worth of bids, already the following morning. These days, I'm lucky if I have $50 worth of bids, and lucky if the end result is half what it was, in 2007.
People want it faster, cheaper and often prefer dealing with large organizations rather than individual vendors.
Perhaps a signal that it is — once again — time for me to "pivot" and re-invent myself, for the 45,483rd time. The mere thought of that is actually more exhausting than it is *exciting," although that's not a reflection that I fear the process... I just don't want to.
Ultimately, Mrs. Denmarkguy is probably right when she looks at me and shrugs and says "we're just not 29, anymore..."
One of the things I've really noticed along the way is that it becomes increasingly harder to focus when the effort vs. rewards ratio swings in a negative direction... and stays there.
I know there's a lot of "wisdom" out there, to the effect that if we are following our passions, we "shouldn't care" whether there's a reward... whomever came up with that idea clearly hasn't had the experience of toiling endlessly for almost nothing. Or they were independently wealthy minor royalty, or something.
Of course, could be I am missing the point! That does happen...
All in all, I'd rather be blogging. It's one of the things in life that I really do enjoy... and it works well for me because it's generally done in "short little bits" that I can finish before I get sidetracked into doing something else.
But you gotta do what you gotta do!
Wasn't planning to make this a long screed; just emptying out some thoughts before heading off to bed. I have much gratitude for the catharsis offered by writing!
Thanks for stopping by, and enjoy your week ahead!
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Maybe it's just that you assess much faster whether an action leads to the desired result and if not, then you are too detached to want to do it anyway? And then only to have to is only work.
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Life can be like that most times and the fact that we have passion towards something and we see how things are going doesn't mean we shouldn't employ the service of something else that we know can serve. Our passion does not always put food on the table and that's why it's always best to build up different passions.
I loved reading through your thoughts and I'm happy you shared your thoughts with us before going to bed. I've learned a lot from it and I truly appreciate it. Time they say is our biggest enemy and also our biggest friend, we have to use it wisely if we want to be friends with it or else we become enemies with it.
Have a great week friend 🥰.
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It's unfortunately true that as we get older that even our passions tend to change or become a daunting task & like you said, it doesn't elp that the rewards for the same tasks are on the negative side.
I find that as I'm getting older, it seems I slow down some every year. I just can't do what I used to do & I now spend so much time on Hive that I have little time for other things.
I remember when I used to get sick, like a cold or 24 hr bug, I just keep going like nothing is wrong & no one ever knows I was a little under the weather. However, I just got over a bug that lasted only a couple of days & it felt like an eternity. Saturday, I had breakfast & couldn't eat another bite all day even though my stomach was saying I was hungry. I caught a bug from one of my great-grandsons I was watching & on Sunday I called my grand daughter & told her I couldn't watch the kids on Monday. During the conversation I reminded her that I was no longer a 'spring chicken' anymore & couldn't just bounce back as in earlier years.
I also remember being to clean my whole house in one day but now I'm lucky if I get through a whole room.
So we can only do as much as we can without wearing ourselves out.
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I hate to admit it, but I sure dont feel 29 anymore!
I also do appreciate Hive coz even getting something for blogging is certainly pretty cool.
What I've personally noticed with prolonged untreated ADHD is that it makes me really really exhausted to basically just be awake, even if I don't do anything, and it only got worse and worse with age because of course priorities, responsibilities and overall health have changed. I only realised after I got the diagnosis and medication how draining it was to have adhd because you are constantly bombarded with outside stimulation you can't filter out (sounds etc) and always having to try harder than everyone else to just get really basic tasks done like making a sandwich and loading the dishwasher.