You have such an uncanny ability to make me feel as if I'm right there with you in the description of your memories. Reading this I'm reminded that my own childhood wasn't as rosy as I sometimes like to remember. There was a fair amount of tip-toeing around when my dad was in "a mood", he could have a temper but never hit us. He often slammed things, broke things, or was just silent. You carry that trauma around in adulthood though and it's taken me many years and a lot of relationships to discover and recover from. Thanks, once again, for participating! I hope it didn't dredge up too many bad memories for you. What a cute baby picture!
Thanks Eric. Tip-toeing around when Dad was in a mood - I wonder how many of us had to do this? The other fathers seemed like so much more fun, and more loving, than mine, but I wonder if they were just on good behavior around others. We can't know what happens in other peoples homes, not fully. This memoir initiative is showing us a great deal about each other, and in many cases, how alike we are.
You're welcome! I'm not sure how common it was but it usually happened in our house one or two weekends a month. My dad was never taught to communicate or process his emotions so he suppressed everything until he exploded, emotionally. As a small child I always remember asking my Mom on Friday evenings, "Is dad mad?". If he came home from work on Friday afternoon angry that set the tone for the entire weekend. He would just totally ignore us, he would be slamming things around for a few days, and any plans we had for the weekend would be cancelled. Monday would roll around and he would act as if nothing happened. This improved as he got older and became more and more rare as my brother and I became teenagers. A lot of time was wasted this way though. I've done a lot of work in adulthood not to follow in his footsteps. I think this was a big reason I began meditating in the early 1990's. I just didn't want to live that way or subject anyone to that kind of abuse, I don't blame him for it but that's what it was. When he wasn't in "a mood" he was charismatic, loving, and just a joy to be around. I'm glad you're getting so much out of this! I know I am. This is already one of the most fulfilling things I've done on the blockchain.
I feel the same way.
Now I really wonder how many of us went home to fathers like yours and mine. You're not the first to admit their father had serious flaws, compromising what kind of parent they were. I remarked on Jacey's comment that we are taught how to act on the outside, thinking we were all different inside our homes, but now I wonder if we weren't also indirectly taught how to act inside our homes.
It was probably much more common than we could imagine.