Hi @steelthong, I started reading a very good response from you to my post on caring options for parents, but can't see it now? It's been hectic to say the least and I so much wanted to read it all, maybe you deleted it in error? Sounded like just what I need right now, it's been harrowing!
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I'm sorry I was trying to clean some stuff up on my account and playing with some things and I didn't know exactly how they worked, I ended up deleting some things and have no way of knowing if I can retrieve them or not or how to. In a nutshell, I was thinking of the last few years my wife cared for her mother with Alzheimer's and how she failed, in the beginning, to care for herself, I had to make her "self-care" so she didn't burn out or end up with her own health issues. Selfcare is a critical part of caring for a loved one at the end of life. We will always treasure those last years we spent with my wife's mom, it was worth it all and my wife cherishes those memories above all others. She drew her last breath in our house and went home to be with the Lord. My wife has no regrets and no guilt has been the most awesome daughter she could ever be. I got her to finally use a hospice service for respite visits so she could take a break every couple of months and we could get away so she could re-power and re-build. It is so much more than just the physical strain, the mental and emotional toll it takes on you is overwhelming. So I said all that to simply say - "Don't forget to care for yourself!"
Thank you for that advice @steelthong, I can just imagine how difficult that must have been, but you are so right! We need to take care of ourselves too otherwise we can't help anyone if we fall apart!
My brother's offered to get a day nurse to give us a break as that's when most of the hard work has to be done, so we'll see how things pan out. It would kill my Mom to move her to a frail care facility, she's already very anxious because it's taking so long to get better. Apparently it takes a long time for the inflammation around the tumour to clear up. This weekend was the worst, I was ready to throw in the towel but there's a glimmer of hope as she became calmer last night and her speech is a little clearer. We just hope & pray she starts to feel better but at least she's not had any more seizures so the meds must be starting to work.
Thank you for the encouragement!