I don't really see much of a separation, my online friends are just as much my friends as my meatspace ones.
I have kind of vaguely noticed a lot of the stuff you're talking about over time but they're also from the type of person I'll ignore (the brain glitches are occasionally useful either as is or if I've managed to hack them to be more useful). I have hopefully managed to get the kids to do likewise. Middle I think learned it best and quickest as she's on social media the most and has had to navigate a few online dramas with a number of petty children.
I do also believe that it's another algorithmic blowing up of things that don't actually happen as much as "everyone" thinks they do, and that it's mostly constantly shoved in our faces to ragebait.
Having said that I don't think not talking about problems like racism would make them go away (might in fact do the opposite which we absolutely do not want). But I do feel (possibly in agreement with you?) that sometimes a small but annoyingly shrill subset of people keep creating problems where none exist just so they have something to feel outraged/oppressed/victimised about (and that's assuming that they're not doing it literally to desperately grab at any scrap of attention they can which is even more pathetic).
Sounds like you've got it handled well. Best to keep it down to mostly meatspace friends online.
That possibly depends on how we're doing it. It's one thing to educate that you don't be disrespectful to others who are different to you, but another thing entirely to be continually bringing up bad encounters and past wrongs in an accusatory way.
Growing up I had no concept of the existence of racism. I watched things like Star Trek and it casually portrayed a normalisation of people from all cultures and countries working together and women in what would have been classed as male roles at the time. I never even heard the mention of racism until our teacher read us a story from America about it and even then I just thought how lovely it was that it no longer existed. The way we were approaching this as a culture could have had generations growing up accepting this as normal. Now we're talking about it so much that it's in your face constantly, we're defining each other by the colour of our skin instead of as people and some see racism in every small action. Someone white is not paying attention and let's the door go in a black person's face then it must be because they're racist not lost in their own thoughts or stresses.
Yes, I think it really is a small subset, but when it gets amplified it feels much larger. I don't think the victimhood environment is doing them a service either even if it is well meaning. When you label someone a victim and they take that label on then believe they can't do anything about it and find ever more ways to victimise themselves, whether it's looking for discrimination in every negative event they encounter or thinking they can't pull themselves out of their bad situation because of their race.
Have you heard of Steven Bartlett? He said that when he was first planning to start out in business he read that there was a grant available for black people wanting to start up a business. While he understands now that it was done with the best of intentions, at the time he felt like he was basically being told that he wasn't as capable because he was black. So it actually knocked his confidence rather than encouraged him.
@topcomment
But then I wouldn't have some of the friends I do now! :D
I grew up in systemic racism which apparently lasted into the 90s according to a timeline in the museum that claimed that Asians weren't allowed to own houses when I was 11 years old O_O
because I read the details first and then the date my thought process was along the lines of wow that's lame glad it's so far in the past WAIT I WAS ALIVE WHILE THAT WAS GOING ON?!
I did not pick up on any of it til basically adulthood because it was so very normal. When I was very young the "adults" (previous generation) would casually say stuff like "[ethnic group/skin colour] people [some broad sweeping thing not true for everyone but sounds like it is the way it's stated]" all the time. It only registered as "not quite right" because I had friends who were [ethnic group/skin colour] and they didn't/weren't [some broad sweeping thing not true for everyone but sounds like it is the way it's stated] (and also weren't adults being dicks), and the adults making these statements generally did too. Whether said friends were included in those broad sweeping things depended on the thing x_x
the "adults" in question were Asian, had to mention it because some people have the delusion that only white people can be racist and somehow racism directed at white people doesn't count
The only time "racism" directed at me has ever particularly stood out was extremely minor and more hilarious than anything else. When I was at uni and was getting food or coffee at some place where you can get these things, and uni life being what it was I was half dead plus didn't realise I had audio processing issues at the time (they weren't quite as bad then I don't think but still got worse when I was tired) so I didn't initially understand the (white) counter attendant who then brightly came up with "oh you don't speak English?". I relayed this exchange to an Indian friend who grew up in the UK and we had a giggle about people assuming based on appearances, apparently one of her favourite things to do was to dress full on Indian (sari and everything) and then shock people who expected that she might not speak English very well with her full on British accent.
I'm sure there will be people telling us that's terrible and that we should have been outraged about it and we only didn't notice coz we're so used to it but it was actually just really really funny and nowhere near the level of actually terrible that other people have experienced
A small handful of years ago one of my friends told me how at school the Asian kids were steered more towards the "blue collar"/labouring time jobs or what was seen as "lower level" office jobs (secretary etc) while the white kids were steered more towards the "white collar" type jobs which made a lot of things I do vaguely remember make more sense, though it also wasn't strictly true as I clearly remember when we were doing work experience one of the white boys toddled off to work with the heavy vehicle mechanics and two of the white girls were with me at Parks planting out rehab areas and looking after injured seabirds (I chose Parks because office jobs sounded incredibly boring, had more than enough of sitting around doing paperwork at school, was very definitely not steered there XD).
Everything evened out eventually (at least around my family), I'm not sure whether it was because "we" (our generation) pushed back or whether the "adults" mellowed out and stopped being so angry and learned to pick battles or whatever it is happens when you supposedly become older and wiser (I'm still waiting on the wiser part XD).
I have not heard of Steven Bartlett (though having said that the name does sound kind of familiar)(, but I do know of a similar-but-different situation with one of J's friends (can't remember if it was a uni friend or friend/colleague from previous workplace) who was "thrilled" to discover that he had been the "diversity hire".
And then you start to feel old! Also the 80s was only 20 years ago, right? 🤣
Then they say "obviously we don't mean everyone!" like you're the one taking it wrong and that's on you. (I hate that because really if you're just discussing one or two people you single them out for the problem behaviour rather than labelling them as asian/black/men or whatever group you've slotted them into.)
Dream work! I also dread paperwork from school days.
Me too. I'm suspicious that this is actually a lie to try and keep the respect of younger people while we try and remember what we were even doing or were about to do.
I think I'd be the same level of thrilled...
My daughter went into her mechanical engineering apprenticeship fully aware that she stood a better chance than most due to her gender and the diversity hire incentives companies get. She's proven herself fully capable since, but still hates being pointed out when staff show people around ("look at our female mechanic and look how good her work is too") so she feels like an exhibit.
Hubby grew up in an area that was very white at the time. His family ran a pub that the older people liked to gather in. One day a black guy walked in and every face turned to watch with suspicion as he walked up to the bar. Then the shock on those faces was apparently classic when he asked for a box of matches in well spoken English accent. He was better spoken than any of them. 🤣
I have a feeling that the people that are doing that are working the other way, where they think that most people exhibit a characteristic/behaviour and the "not everyone" is the select bunch of people they know which I think is how the "I'm not racist I have [in that category] friends!" card can be played with no inkling of the irony.
BAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAA XD meanwhile I'm cheerfully telling the younger people that I have no idea what I'm doing either so we can all muddle along and learn together or they can explain it to me if they have a clue XD
most of the time, every so often it's a ploy to see if the tiny children retain what they were told in training/were actually listening if I come across them mucking around while I'm crossing the floor in search of items or on the extremely rare occasions I get stuck on a girls' class
Ugh poor kid >_< other than that idiocy is/did she enjoy/ing it?
Right that's it I need to just not be drinking and reading at the same time I keep nearly drowning.
I don't do it nearly as often now (mostly because I'm much slower on vocabulary seeing as I don't read as much as I used to) but I did once derive perhaps too much pleasure from responding in purple prose when merely stating "I probably speak English better than you" didn't feel like it would be quite as satisfying XD
She is and the people on the shop floor who she's actually working with don't treat her like that. They've gotten to know her pretty well, tease her for her quietness and not liking attention and she also seems to have a calming effect on the older grumpy guys. 😆 There's a bit of a joke that she's mellowed out the guy training her so now they need to put her with the guy who loses his temper whenever things don't go right for him.
Aaaahhhh that's so cute XD
There might be some ingrained sexism/chivalry there where they feel like they can't swear/lose it in front of the little girl which in the case of the guy that loses his temper when things don't go right for him might not be the worst thing? XD
I'd say so. They'll swear and tell rude jokes in front of her, though. They were a bit cautious at first, forgetting there's a female there and then quickly checking, getting ready to apologise, but realising she's trying to suppress giggles too or not reacting to the swearing.
I'd say it's the calming effect of a woman, but I think there's also the mutual understanding and respect, because they aren't like that with the women in the offices and they only like one of the ones in inspection. That said, most of inspection is disliked for their incompetence regardless of sex, except for that one women. 😅