I have no words of comfort for you but I can commiserate with you. They say it will get easier with time and I say that it does not get easier, it just gets different. You will smile and laugh again but is is always with the feeling that someone's missing. You had many good years together and I believe you will one day see each other again.
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So you've also been through the awful journey of grief! It really is like being on an emotional rollercoaster ride!
That part is a sure thing, but I do believe we will see each other again, although in another realm.
Thank you for your encouragement @tamaralovelace