The lights we could not see!

I have always thought it can never be possible to perfectly demonstrate the history/story of wars without plot holes, flawlessly, even articulation is limited to a certain extent.
Of course, what Erich Maria Remarque published is an exceptional supremacy upon being awarded for being born in that drastic time of era and on top of that in that catastrophic region.
Which is why, it was quite an unexpected pleasure to both read and watch "All the light we cannot see"
Even the name is attractive. Having an impactful name for the first encounter certainly is a que for many people like me, I am certain. In that regard, it is a full mark pass.

Also, regardless, asserting all those positive aspects, I might have missed reading or watching it for a long time, thinking perhaps that it is another cliché war-emotional fiction with moderately temporary fleeting enjoyment.
That is if it was not for a certain someone, who did not only suggest the book but bought me as his first gift for me, and insisted that I read.

At that time, I was quite a busy-bee, to spare any special thoughts like now as in "why did he choose this?" "Why did he write that in the book?", or questions like that. My life was plausibly the most chaotic at that time of my life, which is why many notions occur to me now, which should have then!

Anyhow, then one day all of a sudden in one lazy evening, the suggestion popped up on Netflix of a newly released series "All the light you cannot see". Obviously, I missed a heartbeat watching that name on my screen, which did not take a second to jerk me back in our memories of youth. Which evidently, reminds me that I still have not read the book.

After leaving home, I did not have a stable job, so almost always I am like a Gypsy, today here, tomorrow there. Which is why, I lived a precisely minimalist life, always ready to pack and leave, and that hindered me from buying books. Eventually, I made it possible for me to start reading soft copies of the books, and stop buying books.
Yet, a habit of years and years, cannot be improvised to such length, so I used to keep some very special books with me, always, to feel at home there. Amongst those few books, for unknown reason, I have been carrying around that book of his with me but have not read since then.

And then this series was like a sudden unprecedented thunderstorm on a bright moon light night, a roller coaster of remanences of what happened, what did not happen, and what could have happened!

Of course, given it is me, none of the break ups made any sense, be it the first one or the last one. After watching and reading his very dear gift "All the light we cannot See" , the first thought struck me of "was there a particular reason for him to give it to me?".

And that is not a baseless thought as well. Because, whenever he would come to my mind on occasions, the first thing that would come to my mind followed by his name is that one sentence, which he has curved eternally in my mind, though unsure as well in heart too!
"Thank you, for existing in my life".
I mean, come one, there are so many punchlines, I am so used to and heard a lot, but never once like this one till now.

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He would express it in such elegant, sensual manner, in precise context, that I used to be in awe every time he would say that, for its cadence of enchanting me, regardless of me being the worst kind of receiver of affection or love as a matter of fact. Certainly, I would never know how to respond to that understanding its depth because I thought it was expressed with utmost sincerity. I believed it, not because I was any usual emotional fool, but because I regarded him as a man of culture and that he would not say anything he does not mean or need any sweet words saying for the sake of saying!

But, now that I look back, I wonder if he was sincere even for once!
Otherwise, how on earth would he just, out of the blue, vanish from my life one day as if he never existed to begin with!
Just like, one morning I woke up and realized he is perhaps going to vanish. And, I waited in silence, without breaking it to understand if that is what he is aiming for, eventually the baseless notion to be the truth.
Even just the day before, I was in his city (we used to live in two different cities), we roamed around, talked, laughed, bought books, ate together, and said our goodbyes, and then I came back to my city, my home.
How much more of an absurd yet peaceful break up it can be, which does not make sense in any way!

Even after years, I still wonder what was that all about!? Being left with questions is extremely annoying, is it not!?
I mean yes, I have the worst kind of luck for love-relationship, needless to say, my break-ups are even more ridiculous, but man, at least they could have let me fall in love and proudly could break my heart!!
I had break-ups but never once have my heart broken, how unfortunate and hilarious is that!
For my perfectly logical and rational self, it was easy to come to an understanding of either this or that theory but I was not able to confirm which is which in the end till now, so that is indeed annoying for a good memory like mine.

All the contents are mine untill mentioned otherwise.

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We all have existence due to the presence of light and without it even you neither could write this free write nor do I read out. But, while I see that a soul is in search of meaning, that in search of it is beautiful.

I am glad to know that you find resemblance with Jibonananda and what he wrote. I think I am also in love with some of the verses he made through his authorship careers.

একটা কবিতার কিছু লাইন সবসময় মনে গেঁথে যায়, যখনই রাস্তা দিয়ে হেঁটে বেড়াই একলা একাকী পথে, মনে পড়ে যেন শতাব্দীর পর শতাব্দী ধরে শুনে চলেছি,কিন্তু পুরনো হয় নি কখনো।

" আমাকে খোজো না তুমি বহুদিন, কতদিন আমিও তোমাকে খুঁজি নাকো ; এক নক্ষত্রের নিচে তবু একই আলো-পৃথিবীর পারে আমরা দুজনে আছি, পৃথিবীর পুরনো পথের রেখা হয়ে যায় ক্ষয়, প্রেম ধীরে মুছে যায়, নক্ষত্রেরও একদিন মরে যেতে হয়, হয় নাকি? "

অর্থটা খুব সহজে ফুরিয়ে যায়, কিন্তু ধুয়া হারাতে চায় না, একদম মনের মাঝখানটায় আঘাত করে।

আজ কমেন্ট বক্সে এলোমেলো লিখে গেলাম, একসময় সেটা হারিয়ে যাবে, তারপর যুগ যুগান্তর কেটে যাবে, পৃথিবী তার নিজের মতো রয়ে যাবে।

নক্ষত্রও একদিন মরে যায়, কি সুন্দর ভাবনা। আসলে জীবনানন্দের মতো চিন্তা করতে সবাই পারে নি। এটা তার ব্যতিক্রমী কৃতিত্ব।
💖💐

হাহাহা! ভালো বলেছেন।
হ্যাঁ জীবনানন্দের বিখ্যাত কিছু পঙক্তির মাঝে এটা একটা।

কিছুর আলোর সন্ধান বোধহয় আলো চলে যাবার পরেই ঠাহর করা যায়।

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