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RE: An open letter to myself

This is most excellent Bam, sometimes this is what it takes to hit rock bottom so we realize the points that need work.
Most people refuse to look at themselves in this light, this is really diving deep into what makes you tick, and you did a very good job of really facing up to a lot of things.
The beginning of the year was tough, yes, but looks why.
As far as the alcohol goes, I stopped about 15 or 20 years ago, and don't even want any in any form. For a little while I would have a sip of my wife's beer, but she doesn't even mess with it now so we both do not.
The smokes: I quit the last day of 2018, and don't miss it. But I have been smoking for a lot longer than you have, and now am facing the penalties (although my situation is caused by other things as well). The sooner you cut those out of your life, the better off you'll fare later.
The fact that you knocked out the painkillers is amazing, and extremely beneficial, there are things that you can take like Turmeric; it's an anti-inflammatory, and I take 1300mg daily as a supplement. But you need to have Peperine or a black pepper added to absorb it.
Just keep chugging along, like the little train that chugs up the hill saying "I can, I can, I can! You are well on your way!