I was in dire need of a cathartic effect so I picked up my device and began to type. If there’s a topic the average person can talk about exhaustively, it has got to be on the subject of friendship. We all have things to say because we’ve had friends, whether presently or in the past so it’s easy to define the qualities or what we may term as the qualities of a friend.
Notice I didn’t say a true friend, or a good friend, or any of that? It’s because I don’t believe there’s anything such as a good friend or a bad friend. There are innate qualities that would classify a person as a friend and anything short of that means the person isn’t a friend. Which is why, not before, but these days, I’ve learnt to properly classify people. There are friends, acquaintances, colleagues and so on.
So when it comes to friendship, I’ve outlined three core qualities. Of course, there are others but these three speak out for me, hence the reason they will be featured in this post.
The first is Authenticity,
How can I say this...This is a quality I admire in people so it extends to friendship. There is nothing as endearing as a person that is real and true to themselves and to others. Someone who knows their values and principles and stands by them. I take this as a core friendship quality because when you’re your true, authentic self, the willingness to sell your friend out or do something nasty because you want someone else to like you or you want to be like that person would be slim, if not non-existent.
I don’t know how much sense that is making but I’d like you to read between the lines. They are unapologetically themselves and do not try to fit into a certain mould, they embrace their strengths and weaknesses and don’t judge you for being different from them but love you for who you are. That’s Authenticity.
Trustworthiness
Trustworthiness as a trait means loyalty and loyalty as it relates to friendship on a personal level goes beyond simply not betraying me. It means you don’t try to make me look stupid or feel less so other people can like you or think you’re a cool or hilarious person. It means that you don’t reveal the things I’ve told you to people because we are having an argument or worse, using the things I’ve told you against me when we’re arguing or making reference to them in front of others. It means being respectful above all things. We don’t envisage bad fights in friendships but the ability to stay respectful and not cross the lines is what qualifies someone as a friend. That’s loyalty. That’s Trustworthiness.
And the last one I’ll be mentioning is,
Empathic Honesty
Notice again that I didn’t say honesty because I’ve seen and experienced that line, “I’m your friend so I have to tell you the truth,” before or after proceeding to tear or utterly break down said friend to pieces, spirit and soul. It’s a necessary quality, knowing how to be empathetic with our honesty.
I learnt just today from a person dear to me that when you’re friends with someone or in your dealings with people, that there’s a difference between calling someone out and calling someone in. What many of us are fond of doing and even I, was guilty of in the past, is calling people out.
And this is the wrong type of honesty because by calling a friend out, you publicly criticize the person’s actions, you’re confrontational with it and there’s even an element of shame in between. But with calling someone in and which is a necessary quality of a friend, you’re private and respectful when addressing the issue, you’re specific with what it is you’re addressing and not beginning to attack the person all round and most of all, you encourage the person(with understanding) to be better.
Then there are the other aspects of honesty like being transparent in your words and your actions to that person but to mention a few.
There you go, three of my core friend qualities. Of course, there’s the other part that we have to be all of these qualities ourselves for us to require it of others. Having a friend is simple. It means being a friend as well.
And now we’re down to our first day of the month tradition which is #hpud. No matter whether I’ve grown in my stats or not, the fact that this has helped in my accountability has helped to keep me going. I’m going to be quick about it this time and get straight to it.
I started the month of May with 4,007 HP and before powering up with 20 Hive, I had 4,280 which is a growth of 273. Considering the fact that I only posted a handful of times because of school, it’s something to be ecstatic about. I promised to give it my all but with the goals I need to achieve academically, I guess that was too optimistic of me. This month may most likely be worse but I’ll still try in whatever way I can. Way to go positivity!
Concerning my HBD Savings, I added a total of 25 HBD during the month bringing it to 390 HBD. Could have been more but our realities offline come first in my opinion. Nevertheless, I’ll still do as I can to increase the growth for nothing short of the satisfaction it gives me.
All the best to everyone in the month of June. Happy New Month.
Jhymi🖤
Courtesy of June Inleo Prompts.
Thumbnail created with Meta AI.
Posted Using InLeo Alpha
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